SEASON OF THE WITCH

Waiting for the bus home on the deserted 5th Avenue in Park Slope after picking up a prescription during a quarantine is already weird enough, but doing so while listening to Vanilla Fudge's cover of the Donovan classic "Season of the Witch" adds a whole other eerie layer to the experience.

JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT (2019)

Our heroes return.

Just sat through JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT (2019) and found it to be better than expected, though it's hands down the second-weakest entry in the series (after MALLRATS). As is repeatedly pointed out over the course of the movie it's basically a remake, er, "reboot" of JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK (2001), along with elements and characters from the other films in the run, and once more our hapless heroes set off on a cross-country odyssey to prevent the making of a film about them, this time a reboot. 

Jay (Jason Mewes) pays tribute to Buffalo Bill.

It starts out rather rote and I almost turned it off, but things pick up considerably once we are introduced to Millennium "Milly" Faulken (Harley Quinn Smith in what is easily her best role) and her trio of girlfriends, and she is revealed to be the daughter that Jay (Jason Mewes) never knew he had fathered. Sadly, Jay and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) are sworn to secrecy regarding Jay being Millys dad, after which the girls hijack the stoners' road trip and force them to take them along to Hollywood. Wacky adventures ensue and Jay, who himself never met his dad must come to terms with his sudden unexpected parenthood of a belligerent and dangerous 18-year-old girl. That's over-simplifying a plot that's already about as far from Dostoyevsky as one can get, so I suggest smoking a fat blunt and just going with it. 

Millennium "Milly" Faulken (Harley Quinn Smith). When casting your own daughter is a good idea.

The movie overall is just okay, and instead of simply rehashing JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK, I would have preferred for writer/director/star Kevin Smith to have focused the narrative on the sub-plot of Jay and Milly. Along with his familiar shenanigans as the motor-mouthed and not-necessarily-bright Jay, Mewes solidly delivers in the heartfelt scenes between Jay and Milly. It's in no uncertain terms a surprising effort from him and is a crowning emotional through point in what would otherwise just be a silly and disposable movie. We also feel for Milly's half of the equation, as it's made clear that much of her attitude and aggression comes from always having longed to meet the father that she never knew, which Jay eventually twigs to, and it truly rips one's heart out as we see him struggle to keep his word about not revealing to Milly exactly who he is. There are a number of moments of verbal exchange between Jay and Milly that struck too close to home for me and I freely admit that I openly wept in certain spots. (Those who know me well in the world out side of facebook will understand why.)

BOTTOM LINE: The emotional arc for Jay is what makes this film worth sitting through, and I sincerely hope that Mewes goes forward to stretch his wings in parts that allow him more to do than resort to his signature and admittedly funny stoner antics. Not a full-on return to form for Kevin Smith, but parts of this are razor-sharp. C+ for the film as a whole entity, but an A+ for the realization of the Jay and Milly sub-plot.

Poster from the theatrical release.

MY SPRING LOOK

Considering my Type 2 diabetes and kidney issues, plus the fact that a number of my friends/family have been stricken with Covid-19, I decided to stop fucking around with the standard 3M mask and go for a SERIOUS upgrade. 

This bad mutha is a hell of a lot easier to breathe through, it fits snugly and comfortably thanks to straps around the back of my head and at the top, and it comes with modular organic vapor cartridges for filtration. As more and more reports come in concerning the virus as possibly becoming an annual event, this purchase was for something made to last, and I assure you this meet that criteria. 

Plus, in this bizarre climate, it's also something of a fashion statement. I can't wait to rock it with my bowler and Russian winter hat!

ENTER THE...???

Today's moment of Brooklyn weirdness:

While walking back from picking up a pizza at La Villa — Park Slope's finest Italian restaurant/pizzeria, which was kind enough to be open for takeout during the quarantine — I passed some random guy who was sitting near the Garfield Place bus stop on 5th Avenue. When I passed he suddenly looked up, stared at me and, unprompted, yelled out "CHUCK NORRIS!" I initially ignored him but he again shouted out "CHUCK NORRIS!" so I kept walking but loudly responded with "BRUCE!" Confused, he asked "BRUCE???" I shot back with "BRUCE!!!" and kept walking.

I was wearing no martial arts attire and was carrying the pizza in one hand, and a bag of bottled seltzer in the other, so I have no fucking clue why that exchange took place.

A HARD HAT UPON AN EMPTY HEAD

Today's moment of charm: 

While at one of the local schmancy 24/7 convenience stores (the supermarket around the corner is closed until tomorrow), I was on line at the checkout counter behind to hardhat-wearing Latino construction workers. While waiting for the cashier to ring up his purchase, he complained to his co-worker about another employee at their place of employ. "Can't have that kinda shit goin' on at the site, man. The guy acts like a girl. I'm gonna get him fired. Can't be havin;' no faggot in in the crew. The boys don't play that shit son, you feel me? Gonna get him FIRED." The two of them then burst out laughing and loudly guffawed while leaving with their purchases. 

I was hoping to hear the too-late squeal of brakes as they were flattened by a delivery truck while crossing the street, but no such luck.