WHY HASN'T THERE BEEN A MUSIC VIDEO FOR THIS?

Back when MTV ran music videos — remenber those days? — every now and then they'd run a video for a heavy metal song, more often than not some pathetic hair band who looked like a bunch of chicks, but occasionally you'd see something by Slayer or Motorhead. What I want to know is what they would have done with so-called Death Metal; the lyrics are usually ultra-offensive and sound like they're being sung by the Cookie Monster, and the stuff just cracks me up. That said, just imagine what the video for this song would be like:

FECAL FREAK by Regurgitate (from the album "Carnivorous Erection")

Wine and dine her in a romantic fashion
Meet her parents and make a good impression
All her friends see me as the man of their dreams
What they don't see is my lust for the obscene

She first finds out on our wedding night
I gently disrobe her from her gown of white
I lift her thin veil with the utmost care
Then without warning I smear shit in her hair

She bites and claws with no avail
It's too late for a reason, I'm overcome by the smell
She used to think I was the man of her dreams
But my only true love is that of the obscene

Britney Spears it ain't!