NAME: Chris Weston
CODE NAME: Inkfinger
CODE NAME: Inkfinger
DATE OF BIRTH: 04.01.69 PLACE OF BIRTH: Rinteln, Germany
NATIONAL AFFILIATION (IF ANY): British
CURRENT LOCATION FOR CONTACT: A discarded Apollo-mission rocket hidden within a lighthouse off the coast of Eastbourne, East Sussex, England.
AREA OF EXPERTISE: I love ink… and am fluent in everything Wikipedia knows on the subject.
SKILLS: Calligraphy and tattooing.
PREFERRED WEAPONS:
NOTABLE KINKS/QUIRKS: I love Indian ink in particular… and drowning my enemies in it.
RELIGIOUS FANATIC (IF “YES” PLEASE EXPLAIN; HERE AT MISCEGEN-8 WE STRIVE FOR DIVERSITY AND UNDERSTANDING AS WE UNLEASH NASTINESS AND TERROR): No. Militant atheist.
WANTED BY INTERNATIONAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES (IF “YES” PLEASE SPECIFY WHICH AGENCIES): No. My works have left the authorities baffled and clueless to my involvement.
PRE-EXISTING AFFILIATION WITH A HUGE, INTERNATIONAL CRIME CARTEL (PLEASE IDENTIFY BY NAME, IF APPLICABLE): Learnt calligraphy, torture, and torture involving calligraphy from The Yakuza.
INVOLVEMENT WITH CRIMES/PLOTS OF NOTE: Hypnotised Tony Blair into betraying Socialism.
RELATIVES IN GOVERNMENTAL POWER WHOM WE CAN SEDUCE INTO SERVICE AND/OR BLACKMAIL: None. I’m an orphan.
CURRENT BODY COUNT (PLEASE DESCRIBE ANY ESPECIALLY CREATIVE MURDERS): Too many to mention and most involve the use of biros.
DESCRIBE WHAT YOU CAN BRING TO MISCEGEN-8: Nice hand-writing.
DESCRIBE YOUR DIABOLICAL SCHEME FOR WORLD CONQUEST: With only six, square sheets of one-way glass I can build an artificial black hole. I will then hold the world to ransom.
DO YOU ALREADY HAVE MEDICAL/DENTAL/OPTICAL INSURANCE COVERAGE (YES OR NO): No. I’ll make use of The National Health Service like Everyone else.
HNIC'S COMMENTS: This one's a no-brainer since we need an Englishman to serve as the opposite number to a certain UK operative whose snooty and arrogant ways really piss me off, and I like this guy's style. Ink as a signature? Both deliciously ironic and rather twisted. Note to ordnance-send this guy twelve cases of biros, as per his specifications.
NAME: Jennifer Angel Polinski
CODE NAME: JAP
DATE OF BIRTH: 7/7/77PLACE OF BIRTH: New York, New York
NATIONAL AFFILIATION (IF ANY): DDPM
(donne della plastica mortale) Women of the Deadly Plastic
CURRENT LOCATION FOR CONTACT: Milan
AREA OF EXPERTISE: I steal mens' fortunes
SKILLS: I seduce men into thinking I actually love them then ruin their credit; siphon off their money into my own secret account in the Cayman Islands then kill them making it look like suicide
PREFERRED WEAPONS: Credit cards
NOTABLE KINKS/QUIRKS: I always by a new pair of steel shank, over the knee leather stiletto-heeled boots to commit the final act
RELIGIOUS FANATIC (IF “YES” PLEASE EXPLAIN; HERE AT MISCEGEN-8 WE STRIVE FOR DIVERSITY AND UNDERSTANDING AS WE UNLEASH NASTINESS AND TERROR): No
WANTED BY INTERNATIONAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES (IF “YES” PLEASE SPECIFY WHICH AGENCIES): YES – Internal Revenue Service in America and Inland Revenue in the UK
PRE-EXISTING AFFILIATION WITH A HUGE, INTERNATIONAL CRIME CARTEL (PLEASE IDENTIFY BY NAME, IF APPLICABLE): I work alone
INVOLVEMENT WITH CRIMES/PLOTS OF NOTE: I would tell you but then you would guess my clients with whom I share my fortunes
RELATIVES IN GOVERNMENTAL POWER WHOM WE CAN SEDUCE INTO SERVICE AND/OR BLACKMAIL: That schmuck that ran for Vice President but then admitted he was a republican. I spit on his name.
CURRENT BODY COUNT (PLEASE DESCRIBE ANY ESPECIALLY CREATIVE MURDERS): 7 – My favorite was #3 whom I dressed in black and then had him decorate his bedroom all in black then I made it look like he slit his own wrists with a black Amex card. OOOOOH it gives me chills
DESCRIBE WHAT YOU CAN BRING TO MISCEGEN-8: I know the BEST places to shop
DESCRIBE YOUR DIABOLICAL SCHEME FOR WORLD CONQUEST: I don’t need to conquer the world – it is completely my playground.
DO YOU ALREADY HAVE MEDICAL/DENTAL/OPTICAL INSURANCE COVERAGE (YES OR NO): No need
HNIC'S COMMENTS: a chameleonic femme fatale? Oh, she is so in. As long as the organization gets its cut...
NAME: Turavisaru Bikuru
CODE NAME: Shakuhachi Bizen
DATE OF BIRTH: Showa 24PLACE OF BIRTH: Dread secret
NATIONAL AFFILIATION (IF ANY): International
CURRENT LOCATION FOR CONTACT: Secret
AREA OF EXPERTISE: Inter-dimensional infamy
SKILLS: Master of Dim Mak (the Death Touch,) Neural-Spatio-Phase-Disruption, Entropic Thaumaturgy, projectile expectoration, and psionic mammoplasty.
PREFERRED WEAPONS: moly-steel shakuhachi (painted to resemble bamboo,) MK II Phase Disruptor (Isher Technologies,) belt-buckle derringer, and tightly rolled tabloid newspaper.
NOTABLE KINKS/QUIRKS: Known to scream “Ten-shikaru!!” (Heaven’s mild admonishment!) when attacking or cutting ahead on line.
RELIGIOUS FANATIC (IF “YES” PLEASE EXPLAIN; HERE AT MISCEGEN-8 WE STRIVE FOR DIVERSITY AND UNDERSTANDING AS WE UNLEASH NASTINESS AND TERROR): Only if Neo-Tachism can be considered a religion.
WANTED BY INTERNATIONAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES (IF “YES” PLEASE SPECIFY WHICH AGENCIES): Wanted by Inter-Dimensional enforcement agencies and some debt-collectors on Uranus.
PRE-EXISTING AFFILIATION WITH A HUGE, INTERNATIONAL CRIME CARTEL (PLEASE IDENTIFY BY NAME, IF APPLICABLE): Legion of Inter-Dimensional Villainy.
INVOLVEMENT WITH CRIMES/PLOTS OF NOTE: The Heinous Anus Conspiracy.
RELATIVES IN GOVERNMENTAL POWER WHOM WE CAN SEDUCE INTO SERVICE AND/OR BLACKMAIL: NA
CURRENT BODY COUNT (PLEASE DESCRIBE ANY ESPECIALLY CREATIVE MURDERS): Does this include disincorporation of inter-dimensional entities? Or Canadians?
DESCRIBE WHAT YOU CAN BRING TO MISCEGEN-8: The uncanny ability to cloud the minds of most rodents except gerbils.
DESCRIBE YOUR DIABOLICAL SCHEME FOR WORLD CONQUEST: It’s a SECRET!!!
DO YOU ALREADY HAVE MEDICAL/DENTAL/OPTICAL INSURANCE COVERAGE (YES OR NO): Medical/dental, but no optical.
HNIC'S COMMENTS: An intriguing resume that presents many possibilities. Plus the Heinous Anus Conspiracy is a personal favorite, so I look forward to working with him.
NAME: Bill Fruge
CODE NAME: Yin Yang
CODE NAME: Yin Yang
DATE OF BIRTH: unknown, perhaps the '60's
PLACE OF BIRTH: small village in the mountains of Asia
NATIONAL AFFILIATION (IF ANY): None
CURRENT LOCATION FOR CONTACT: all places are really one
AREA OF EXPERTISE: world peace
SKILLS: the ability to relax people and get them to see their "inner-self"
PREFERRED WEAPONS: none
NOTABLE KINKS/QUIRKS: sits in the lotus position a lot, balding
RELIGIOUS FANATIC (IF "YES" PLEASE EXPLAIN; HERE AT MISCEGEN-8 WE STRIVE FOR DIVERSITY AND UNDERSTANDING AS WE UNLEASH NASTINESS AND TERROR):
none, believes all religions are just manifestations of the same general belief
WANTED BY INTERNATIONAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES (IF "YES" PLEASE SPECIFY WHICH AGENCIES): none, but many large corporate interests and some governments are opposed to his work since he opposes greed and materialism; although several NGO's are actively seeking him as a public speaker
PRE-EXISTING AFFILIATION WITH A HUGE, INTERNATIONAL CRIME CARTEL (PLEASE IDENTIFY BY NAME, IF APPLICABLE): none
INVOLVEMENT WITH CRIMES/PLOTS OF NOTE: none
RELATIVES IN GOVERNMENTAL POWER WHOM WE CAN SEDUCE INTO SERVICE AND/OR BLACKMAIL: none
CURRENT BODY COUNT (PLEASE DESCRIBE ANY ESPECIALLY CREATIVE MURDERS): none
DESCRIBE WHAT YOU CAN BRING TO MISCEGEN-8: peace and self-awareness
DESCRIBE YOUR DIABOLICAL SCHEME FOR WORLD CONQUEST: Plans to have all people look inward and realize that their goals to become wealthy, rule the world, turn the statue of liberty into a giant robot with titty gun, or fight crime are just manifestations of an unsatisfied ego and that true inner peace can only come from a letting go of such desires.
DO YOU ALREADY HAVE MEDICAL/DENTAL/OPTICAL INSURANCE COVERAGE (YES OR NO): perhaps
HNIC'S COMMENTS: I don't think this guy quite gets what we're going for here; will take under advisement.
NAME: DECLAN SHALVEY
CODE NAME: DOCTOR PATIENT
DATE OF BIRTH: 11 Jan '82
NATIONAL AFFILIATION (IF ANY): Any.
CURRENT LOCATION FOR CONTACT: Isle of Debauchery
AREA OF EXPERTISE: Witty banter.
SKILLS: Can take a punch.
PREFERRED WEAPONS: Razor-Sharp Wit, Cutting remarks, Charming Irish Accent (for the ladies)
NOTABLE KINKS/QUIRKS: Irish slang-words, Offending ladies, makes every situation into a joke of some kind.
RELIGIOUS FANATIC (IF "YES" PLEASE EXPLAIN; HERE AT MISCEGEN-8 WE STRIVE FOR DIVERSITY AND UNDERSTANDING AS WE UNLEASH NASTINESS AND TERROR): Working on it.
WANTED BY INTERNATIONAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES (IF "YES" PLEASE SPECIFY WHICH AGENCIES): Doctor Patient has eluded all law enforcement by not having yet committed any crimes.
PRE-EXISTING AFFILIATION WITH A HUGE, INTERNATIONAL CRIME CARTEL (PLEASE IDENTIFY BY NAME, IF APPLICABLE): Doctor Patient has eluded all crime cartels by not having yet committed any crimes.
INVOLVEMENT WITH CRIMES/PLOTS OF NOTE: Doctor Patient is more of a background agent, adding witty remarks when need be. Also has undercover expertise, blends in with a crowd, lulling them into a false sense of security as he learns all their weaknesses.
RELATIVES IN GOVERNMENTAL POWER WHOM WE CAN SEDUCE INTO SERVICE AND/OR BLACKMAIL: Doctor Patient can seduce all!
CURRENT BODY COUNT (PLEASE DESCRIBE ANY ESPECIALLY CREATIVE MURDERS): Doctor Patient has yet to slay an enemy, but has many plans in circulation which will soon raise his body count ....from zero.
DESCRIBE WHAT YOU CAN BRING TO MISCEGEN-8: Doctor Patient can offer much. He can care for your concubines while you're on missions. He can also provide them with much-needed intercourse when their self-esteem is low. He can turn light switches on and off. He can add much-needed humour to dire situations
DESCRIBE YOUR DIABOLICAL SCHEME FOR WORLD CONQUEST:
1: Start rumours about certain parties.
2: Inform parties of the rumours
3: Tell parties that opposing parties started said rumours
4: Stand back aset them fight it out.
5: Claim control.
6: Have dinner.
DO YOU ALREADY HAVE MEDICAL/DENTAL/OPTICAL INSURANCE COVERAGE (YES OR NO): No. (One must note that Doctor Patient holds no medical doctorate of any kind and is also not patient in any way.)
HNIC'S COMMENTS: not too impressed with his cpacity for mayhem, but do appreciate his sensibilities. Possible consigilieri?
NAME: Unknown, though often simply called "The Hat".
Known aliases include "Jean Toque", "Guiseppe Legame",
"Cooper Dale", "Nelson Elliott", and "Carlos Aureus".
Frequently presents himself as an employee of
"Universal Import/Export".
Known aliases include "Jean Toque", "Guiseppe Legame",
"Cooper Dale", "Nelson Elliott", and "Carlos Aureus".
Frequently presents himself as an employee of
"Universal Import/Export".
CODE NAME: Pablo
DATE OF BIRTH: Sometime in the early 1970s
DATE OF BIRTH: Sometime in the early 1970sPLACE OF BIRTH: Somewhere in the quadrangle described by Singapore, Bangkok, Taipei, and Subic Bay
NATIONAL AFFILIATION (IF ANY): n/a
CURRENT LOCATION FOR CONTACT: Post Restante, Central Post Office, Hong Kong
AREA OF EXPERTISE: Diabolical masterminding
SKILLS: Bartending, yoga, uncanny ability to simply vanish, skulking in the shadows
PREFERRED WEAPONS: Dry wit and a BIG FUCKING GUN
NOTABLE KINKS/QUIRKS: Listening to Wagner
RELIGIOUS FANATIC (IF “YES” PLEASE EXPLAIN; HERE AT MISCEGEN-8 WE STRIVE FOR DIVERSITY AND UNDERSTANDING AS WE UNLEASH NASTINESS AND TERROR): Fanatical fundamentalist agnostic
WANTED BY INTERNATIONAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES (IF “YES” PLEASE SPECIFY WHICH AGENCIES): All of them, including the ones that don't know that they're looking for me.
PRE-EXISTING AFFILIATION WITH A HUGE, INTERNATIONAL CRIME CARTEL (PLEASE IDENTIFY BY NAME, IF APPLICABLE): The Hat works freelance.
INVOLVEMENT WITH CRIMES/PLOTS OF NOTE:
• In the very early 1990s, during the breakup of the USSR, stole a very large – 8 figures in USD – amount of money from the Belarusian treasury. To this day, the Belarusian government never knew the money was even there in the first place.
• Attempted to steal the original manuscript of Kafka's The Trial on commission, only to discover that the 'original manuscript' was a Nazi-era fake. Stole it anyway and passed it off as the original.
• During the mid 90s, smuggled priceless religious artifacts out of the collapsing Yugoslavia and subsequently returned them for a substantial and highly inflated fee to the rightful owners.
• Personally responsible for initiating a vicious gang war in Vladivostok in 1996 by murdering assassinating three major rival organized crime figures nearly simultaneously.
• Sold defective submarine plans to Columbian drug lords in 2006; faked own death before defects in plans were discovered. Set up subsequent assassination of drug lord who knew who had sold them the plans.
• Was in the process of setting up blackmail scheme on prominent US politician; scheme fell through due to target's incompetence in getting caught by the government.
RELATIVES IN GOVERNMENTAL POWER WHOM WE CAN SEDUCE INTO SERVICE AND/OR BLACKMAIL: n/a
CURRENT BODY COUNT (PLEASE DESCRIBE ANY ESPECIALLY CREATIVE MURDERS): At least four.
DESCRIBE WHAT YOU CAN BRING TO MISCEGEN-8: It should be obvious.
DESCRIBE YOUR DIABOLICAL SCHEME FOR WORLD CONQUEST: The world isn't worth the time and effort to conquer. Much more fun to feed off of the greed and incompetence of others.
DO YOU ALREADY HAVE MEDICAL/DENTAL/OPTICAL INSURANCE COVERAGE (YES OR NO): Yes, but COBRA is fucking expensive.
HNIC'S COMMENTS: sign this man up immediately, no two ways about it.
NAME: Hank Wrigley
CODE NAME: Solder
DATE OF BIRTH: I'm 27 years old, but can provide documents saying otherwise if needed at no expense to yourself or MISCEGEN-8. PLACE OF BIRTH: As much as I would like to say Truth or Consequences, New Mexico I admit it is in fact Connecticut :(
NATIONAL AFFILIATION (IF ANY): Have "legal" U.S citizenship.
CURRENT LOCATION FOR CONTACT: New York.
AREA OF EXPERTISE: Above average aptitude with machinery and compressed gasses (a B.F.A in Metalsmithing and Jewelry / Art History!). Also have training in Art History and currently studying in secondary Education systems within the U.S (never know this might be useful for recruiting at a later date ala COBRA).
SKILLS: Welding, Gem setting, fairly extensive knowledge in mold-making.and basic lapidary skills.
PREFERRED WEAPONS: Fists, Jeweler's saw, Crossbow, Leatherman, a Car (as a projectile) (I actually do have experience using all of those)
NOTABLE KINKS/QUIRKS: Are you trying to pick me up? I'm into green women, if you know what I mean.
RELIGIOUS FANATIC (IF "YES" PLEASE EXPLAIN; HERE AT MISCEGEN-8 WE STRIVE FOR DIVERSITY AND UNDERSTANDING AS WE UNLEASH NASTINESS AND TERROR): Agnostic.
WANTED BY INTERNATIONAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES (IF "YES" PLEASE SPECIFY WHICH AGENCIES): Not under this name or current face.
PRE-EXISTING AFFILIATION WITH A HUGE, INTERNATIONAL CRIME CARTEL (PLEASE IDENTIFY BY NAME, IF APPLICABLE): S.P.E.C.T.R.E intern, 2000-2002. I also signed up with the Selective Service in order to get the proper financial aid for my undergraduate studies. I sure count that as working with a Crime Cartel, even thought I never "technically" saw action. (Please see "Current Body Count"). I am now over 25 years of age, and have no ties to them whatsoever. I also had a "lifetime" allegiance to the Decepticons, but I'm revoking it after that movie last year. I feel I am justified.
INVOLVEMENT WITH CRIMES/PLOTS OF NOTE: I was Eliot Spitzer's go to guy in D.C.
RELATIVES IN GOVERNMENTAL POWER WHOM WE CAN SEDUCE INTO SERVICE AND/OR BLACKMAIL: I have a relative who actually is the person in charge of a Coast Guard base (actually true!)
CURRENT BODY COUNT (PLEASE DESCRIBE ANY ESPECIALLY CREATIVE MURDERS): All that "friendly fire" overseas? Cough cough...
DESCRIBE WHAT YOU CAN BRING TO MISCEGEN-8: The ability to lift 50 lbs. above my head, Really though, I'm a fairly hard working, self motivated kind of guy, who can't define himself as a true sadist, but I do take pleasure in the shortcomings of others. I feel that global conquest will allow me to remove myself from the feeling of individual responsibility for our foes (the public) and allow me to work though this. If I cast a bigger net, I reckon I am less likely to look at the individual fish, while also catching far more. I also make some bitching grilled salmon.
DESCRIBE YOUR DIABOLICAL SCHEME FOR WORLD CONQUEST: I'm not entirely sure, but it would somehow involve removing color from the "people" and retaining it solely for our own personal glory. If we were the only people to see a full color spectrum, victory cannot be far behind. I highly recommend using a cover story of us summoning Cthulu to keep them off of our trail until then though.
DO YOU ALREADY HAVE MEDICAL/DENTAL/OPTICAL INSURANCE COVERAGE (YES OR NO): No :( I will have Medical and Optical covered in the fall when I resume full time Graduate School studies. But alas, no dental. My rage comes from somewhere ya see.
HNIC'S COMMENTS: appears sound; youth a plus, and may make good willing cannon-fodder.
Not bad for a start, but keep 'em coming. As per the motto of MISCEGEN-8, Taking over the world ain't easy, but somebody's got to do it, so I await your contact.
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