CANNED AFRO-LICIOUSNESS

While I'm stuck here proofing at the design 'ho house, there's a big licensing show going n over at the Javits Center and I wish I could attend so I could pick up an assload of free swag. Fortunately for me, one of my co-workers (and a fellow reprobate with a heart of gold) thought of Yer Bunche and snagged me a promotional item from TROPIC THUNDER, the upcoming movie in which Robert Downey, Jr. plays an actor who's so "method" that he undergoes plastic surgery and a melanin infusion in order to play a black character.

Robert Downey, Jr.— From Tony Stark to Tony Dark.

Apparently the film features references to a fictional energy drink dubbed "Booty Sweat," and the studio had the good sense to produce gag can of it for purposes of getting the word out.

Canned for your convenience.

I was handed this can with no explanation and I didn't notice the TROPIC THUNDER logo, instead focusing on the copy found on the side. When I started to read it I began to get outraged, but soon enough it became apparent that it was a gag. Judge for yourself:

Booty Sweat is a delicious and bump up struttin' energy drink that will pump up a brutha's ass right-pronto. This swill will crank yo metabolism up skippin' right over jiggy to straight G-pimp level, word to your mutha. Brothas will be layin' down the 2-3 on the wiggy jig focusing the energy flow into cold-face benjamins that will fill yo' pimp pockets to burstin'. Damn straight! Booty Sweat will keep a brotha pitchin' straight game all night to the baby-dolls.

I write copy for a living, and that shit is a classic. I sincerely hope it was written by some hip-hop-loving suburban white guy who was trying not to piss himself while typing. I'm willing to bet that there are some of my fellow highly rhythmic individuals who would find this bit of silliness offensive — the film already has some very vocal detractors over Downey doing what they incorrectly consider a blackface role — but those bruthas can kiss my beige ass. This is the kind of gloriously un-PC project and promotion that I can totally get behind, and I can't wait to see TROPIC THUNDER when it opens. Maybe I'll show up on opening night in whiteface and a blonde surfer wig...