JUST WHAT THE HELL IS AN "INTEROCITOR?"

Did you ever see THIS ISLAND EARTH, the 1955 sci-fi classic about scientists from Earth who find themselves caught up in an interplanetary war in a distant galaxy? If not, I suggest you rent it and check out its awesome special effects that hold up better than a lot of sci-fi flicks made long after it was released, but the main reason I'm bringing this film up is to clue you in on a gadget found in the story, namely the Interocitor.

An Interocitor in action, tuning into the Elongated Forehead Network.

An Interocitor is a device that can do all kinds of cool shit, but I'll leave you discover its capabilities for yourself when you watch the flick; the point in bringing it up is that it's a cornucopia of communications and other amazingness, and if it existed in reality on this planet I guarantee you that its presumably limitless potential would be shoved aside in favor of scouring the digital realms for all manner of pornography, a task that extant computers find themselves pressganged into constantly, only this time there would be presumed access to porn involving life forms that have little or no resemblance to the basic humanoid archetype (and presuming that such life forms would have a need for porn, but just go with me on this).

Anyway, armed with that bit of knowledge, you'll now more or less get what the title of yet another ongoing column here on the Vault of Bunchess means, specifically the upcoming PORNO-ROCITOR, a forum in which I'll clue you in on classics — the even more interesting anti-classics — of the tenderloin genre, entertainment confections made even more fun with the advent of enormous plasma screen viewing devices, rectangular real-world cousins of their sci-fi progenitor. Just so ya know.