THE WRATH OF MILDRED-FUN AT THE CIA

You're gonna love this one...

I chatted with my mom on the phone last night and she mentioned that she went on a day trip yesterday to the the Culinary Institute of America with some of the Westport idiots from her "Y's Women" group — "Y's Women," get it ? Oy... — and the bus driver was a dark-skinned black woman of nearly six feet in height who outweighed my mom by a good hundred pounds and wore her hair in a close-cropped Afro, plus she was wearing the uniform of the bus company (can you guess where this story is going? I bet you can...). As the group finished the tour and prepared to get back on the bus, one of the Westport idiots walked up to my mother and demanded to know when she was bringing the bus around.

(PAUSE FOR TIME TO RUN TO THE BOMB SHELTER)

My mother, who looked nothing like the driver and was wearing a tan blouse and gray Capri pants, looked at this moron and asked "What? Are you talking to me?" The woman said, "Yes. When are you bringing around the bus?" My mom said it took all of her reserve not to start cursing the woman out, but instead she walked over to her, got in her face and snarled, "You think I'm the bus driver? Do You see me in a uniform? Am I six feet tall? Am I wearing a 'fro? I look nothing like our bus driver, and you should know that because you see me every damned week at the Y. Next time you speak to me, you'd better think of me as an individual rather than just a faceless colored person." With that my mom walked away, fuming, and the woman later saw her again from across the room and mouthed "I'm so sorry."

Yeah, it's fun to be a seventy-six-year-old Mildred...