Each week I think I've finally heard about a Hollywood project that once and for all proves that the great dream factory has run out of ideas, but then another week goes by and a project even more ludicrous and creatively bankrupt than the previous week's surfaces like a stubborn floater turd. The most recent of such projects to make my gorge rise was the bigscreen adaptation of the BATTLESHIP board game — no, seriously! — and now comes the announcement in VARIETY of a movie based on Barbie, the venerable girl's toy with bodily proportions suggesting a human female re-engineered by extra-terrestrials with only their own physiognomies to serve as a reconstructive road map. Hopefully the film will be a forum for a long-needed lampooning, but I doubt Mattel will be hip enough to allow that...
Sunday, September 27, 2009
OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!-"BARBIE: THE MOVIE" IS A GO
Each week I think I've finally heard about a Hollywood project that once and for all proves that the great dream factory has run out of ideas, but then another week goes by and a project even more ludicrous and creatively bankrupt than the previous week's surfaces like a stubborn floater turd. The most recent of such projects to make my gorge rise was the bigscreen adaptation of the BATTLESHIP board game — no, seriously! — and now comes the announcement in VARIETY of a movie based on Barbie, the venerable girl's toy with bodily proportions suggesting a human female re-engineered by extra-terrestrials with only their own physiognomies to serve as a reconstructive road map. Hopefully the film will be a forum for a long-needed lampooning, but I doubt Mattel will be hip enough to allow that...
If the alien premise you mention were actually true it would be the greatest movie ever made. It could be a fantastic vehicle for addressing the vanity-obsessiveness of culture.
ReplyDeleteLeft out of this somehow is that there are a half dozen Barbie animated movies already.
ReplyDeleteI like them, actually. The writing is solid and the plots are enjoyable. The animation is a little stiff, but I think it's done that way on purpose (the source material being a little stiff herself).
Sure, they aren't for everyone, but they're aimed perfectly at a 5-year old girl. Speaking as someone who loves, and works on, a series of niche "kids" properties, i recognize the enjoyment my daughter gets out of the movies, and I appreciate the work that goes into making something that resonates with her.
Agreed, Barbie is pretty frightening, but what truly scares me is the Bratz Dolls... truly vapid and now an animated tv show plus movie & video games. I liked Voltron - whatever happened to Voltron anyway?
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