FIRST SNOWMAN OF THE SEASON

Here's the first snowman of the season, located a few doors down from my apartment building in Brooklyn, and he is one disturbing-looking sunuvabitch.

Sporting a wide-eyed stare made from cucumber slices and bearing a pair of eerie, womanly lips, this guy would not surprise me in the least if he came to life and embarked on a neighborhood-wide spree of rape, murder and flaying of children.

"Merry Christmas, kids! I'm gonna cut off your goddamned head and fuck it! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"