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Tuesday, September 04, 2018

PALM JOB


I just went around the corner to the Associated supermarket for some paper towels, and I noticed a black guy speaking with a white girl, both seated in front of the garden's gate. About three feet from them was a very pretty Latina who approached and said "You have beautiful aura. You should get a palm reading," at which she gestured to indicate the guy speaking with the girl. I thanked her for the compliment to my aura but I proceeded on to the supermarket. 
As I made my way back here with my paper towels, she approached me again and said "You really should try a reading..." Seeing that she clearly was not taking a polite "no" for an answer, I thought fast, stopped, and addressed her directly with "Sorry, but my girlfriend is a bruja, so she would not be cool about me getting a reading anywhere else, and that's an ass-kicking I can do without!" The woman's eyes widened and she nodded fervently while backing away as if she had been hit full in the face with a Pyrex cup full of fluorosulfuric acid.