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Friday, May 25, 2007


I was dismayed to hear that ABC had commissioned a pilot based on the Geico insurance ads with the disgruntled cavemen who face prejudice in everday society, but now I'm flat out appalled to find they've actually green-lighted a series and included it in their Fall lineup. I swear to God that it's happening, I saw the promo commercial the other night! This looks to be the latest in a long line of shows so fucking awful that you've got to watch them just to witness the train wreck for yourself. I'm no pundit, but I think it's a safe bet to predict CAVEMEN will end up swiftly relegated to the compost heap of TV awfulness that includes such classics as MY MOTHER THE CAR, SHASTA McNASTY, THE MULLETS, THE HELP, THE HAT SQUAD, THE CHARMINGS, and the immortal WHOOPS!

Here's the skinny from

Title: Cavemen

Stars: Nick Kroll, Bill English, Kaitlin Doubleday

Network: ABC, Tuesdays at 8

The pitch: Do you find the Geico Cavemen funny in 30-second installments? Well, then, it stands to reason that 22 minutes of the Geico Cavemen would be 44 times as funny!

Pilot report: Three cavemen live together as roommates in the suburban South: sarcastic Nick (Kroll); lunkheaded Jamie (Dash Mihok); and Joel (English), an everyman IKEA salesman. In the pilot, the three cavemen attend a country-club barbecue hosted by the father of Joel's girlfriend, hot non-cavewoman Kate (Doubleday). Each of the three encounters the prejudices faced by cavemen in contemporary society: Jamie is seduced by a woman eager for a walk on the wild side, Nick sees racism (species-ism?) everywhere, and Joel just wants Kate's father to look past their differences and accept him as a potential husband for his daughter.

Representative dialogue: "If you think you can blend right in with your snappy cocktail patter and your stylish hat, you are fooling yourself. I know these people. They've been oppressing our people for 750,000 years."

Breakout star: Tony nominee Julie White (The Little Dog Laughed) plays Kate's brittle, alcoholic mother with such comic verve that she seems airlifted in from another, better series.

Worth a season pass?: It's not like anything else is on during this time period — at least not until American Idol returns — but we're inclined to think that it won't take long for the acerbic Nick to wear out his welcome … and for the racism metaphors to exhaust themselves.

Sweet Jumping Jesus in a basket of chicken, this looks like a must-see (for the three episodes that will air before cancellation).


Scraps said...

Of The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer you say nothing?

Bunche said...

D'oh! How the fuck did I forget the world's only slavery era/BLACKADDER ripoff sitcom?

Jared said...

The Hat Squad. I forgot about that bit of genius.

Anonymous said...

Jim Browski says:

And if this whole load of horse shit didn't seem miserable enough already, it appears that they have watered down the prehistoric look of the "cavemen". Now, they just look like a particularly ugly death metal band from the 80's trying to blend in by wearing trendier clothes.