A DAY OF BURNOUT

I try to be strong, I really do, but there are times when I just burn out and today was one of those days.

After two trips to the ER within nine days, plus the regular time and energy drain that is dialysis treatment, returning home from the hospital in the wee hours last night left me mentally and physically spent, so I crashed hard and slept soundly for something like nine hours. I then got up to have some breakfast, but after I ate I just felt too wiped-out to do anything other than return to bed.

Sheer mental and emotional breakdown, so I ended up back in bed for about four hours, bundled up under comforters while listening to Douglas Adams reading THE HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY on low volume. It registered mostly as mumbling, as I wanted the sound mostly as ASMR — when I want bedtime sounds that I can really pay attention to while going to sleep, my go-to is Stephen Fry reading Greek mythology and/or short stories by Oscar Wilde — and I spent the hours of that audiobook in a state where my mind had more or less turned off. Not quite asleep, but definitely not awake and alert.

My head just needed a serious time out.