RETURN OF THE LIQUOR MAN: THREE'S COMPANY(?)

Today's driver for the journey home from treatment was the infamous "Liquor Man," and I found myself in the role of his therapist.

He was freaking out over having been involved in a threesome with a pair of swingers over the weekend, a threesome where he was one of two men involved. He got into it because the woman in the equation was "a Dominican chick with a so-so face, but that slammin' Dominican body," but her partner was a black dude who stipulated that he would get to have sex with Liquor Man. I'll spare you the graphic details, but after Liquor Man had his fun with the woman, he found himself on the receiving end of a solid buggering from the guy, which led LM to note "My ass still hurts from it. Extremely painful." The freakout was due to LM realizing he's not into guys, but he liked the way the guy touched him. That revelation was punctuated with numerous utterances of "I'm not into guys" and "It's just not for me."

I spent the half-hour ride assuring him that the experience does not make him gay, and if anything it served to clarify his stance on his sexuality, and hearing that made him feel better about something he swears up and down he will never do again. And bear in mind that the guy is a fat, unattractive 50-something who you would not look at twice of you saw him on the street.

Oh, and he also went into more detail about his early-30's career as an oral sex prostitute to bored housewives. He claims he plied that trade for nine months and enjoyed it very much, but he quit after encountering a client whose state of feminine hygiene was roughly equivalent to the bottom of a particularly nasty birdcage. (Not how he phrased it, but you get the idea.) It was like hearing Fred Flintstone confess his hidden history in the most crass and graphic language imaginable, and due to his face, the sound of his voice, and his body language, I believe every word he said, no matter how absurd and unlikely this unattractive slob of a guy getting up to Skinemax shenanigans. His fear and confusion over his sexuality in the wake of getting raunched up the fudge tunnel was 100% real.