A witch-burning opens a slew of weirdness.
Loch Laird, Scotland, 1550: Witch Martha Gaunt is sentenced by the cruel Judge Paris (Andrea
Bosić) to be burned
at the stake because she would not grant her favors to the magistrate
when she was young and pretty. Now that she is an aged hag, Gaunt is an
easy target for Paris to avenge his rejection upon, but as the flames
lick higher, the witch calls out the judge's vindictiveness and places
an eternal curse upon Loch Laird.
A
hundred years later, the village remains under the curse, and many of
its young women languish in the local dungeon as they await trial for
witchery. Yes, the town is in the throes of full-blown Salem-style witch
paranoia, engendered by Gaunt's curse, and many innocent women and
girls have been unjustly put to death. It is at this point that a
newlywed bride (Vira Silenti), whose name just so happens to be Martha
Gaunt, is honeymooning at a nearby castle with her groom, the locals get
it into their heads that she is the original witch now returned, so in
no time the rabble whips themselves into a frenzy, grab torches, and
storm the castle, beating the husband unconscious and dragging the
innocent Gaunt off to be unceremoniously hanged. However, the law does
exist and the accused must receive what amounts to the era's idea of a
fair trial by the local magistrates. The spirit of the witch can be
heard cackling at this situation, and when Gaunt must touch the Bible as
proof of her innocence, the vengeful sorceress causes the Good Book to
burst into flames, thus ensuring Gaunt's demise.
You, milady, are screwed.
But
just as the townsfolk are about to string the poor girl up, who should
arrive from out of nowhere but Maciste (Kirk Morris, nee Adriano Bellini, 1961's Mr. Italia), the hunky, shirtless beefcake hero who wears nothing but a short peplum skirt and boots.
All-purpose superhero and bronzer spokesman Maciste (Kirk Morris).
Looking
like he hails from either biblical times or ancient Greece, Maciste
(pronounced "mah-kee-stay") is the world's strongest man and is
apparently able to travel anywhere to help the oppressed and those in
need, regardless of the obstacles of geographical location and era in
history.
Upon
rescuing Gaunt from the lynch mob, Maciste is informed of the curse
that has blighted the village for the past century, so he steels himself
to venture into the depths of Hell itself to persuade the witch to
rescind her malediction. Maciste uproots the tree where the witch was
burned and from which her curse emanates, thus exposing the entrance to
the underworld, and off goes our buff champion on a daunting quest that
brings him through the writhing souls of the eternally damned and pits
him against a lion, a vulture, a giant snake, showers of molten rock,
tons of falling (styrofoam) boulders, and even the biblical Goliath,
while the spirits of the witch and the also-damned Judge Paris lurk in
the shadows, plotting to thwart Maciste's mission. Meanwhile, the
innocent bride's date with the stake looms nearer with each passing
hour...
Maciste contends with a snake.
MACISTE IN HELL, released in the U.S. as THE WITCH'S CURSE, was the third of star Kirk Morris's six Maciste outings, and it's a weird gene-splicing of "folk horror" with the 1960's glut of Italian peplum/muscleman flicks (aka "tits & togas" movies). As
many of you already know, there was an avalanche of cheap Italian-made
mythic muscleman flicks released between the late 1950's through the
mid-late 1960's, more often than not featuring a hero who is renamed
Hercules for the international dub, and that wave was the perfect time
to bring back all-purpose superhero Maciste from the realm of cinematic
limbo. First appearing in the 1914 silent film CABIRIA, superman Maciste
was originally depicted as a north African slave, though played by an
actor in blackface, but the character proved popular and was granted a
long-running series of movies in which he was reimagined as a white guy.
There were 27 (!!!) Maciste flicks during the silent era, and 25 more
once the musclemen boom kicked off three decades later. Several actors
portrayed the character and there was little or no continuity between
his adventures. All one needed to know was that Maciste was the
strongest man in the world and that his role in the universe was to
appear anywhere and anywhen, with zero explanation, to be the champion
of those in need. He has no personality to speak of and all that matters
are his righteous feats of strength and courage against cruel warlords,
witches, sorcerers, and an endless assortment of monsters.
When
the film opens, it looks and feels like a color knockoff of Mario
Bava's landmark 1960 witchcraft shocker, THE MASK OF SATAN (better known
as BLACK SUNDAY) crossed with the aesthetics of any given Hammer
gothic, but then nearly naked Maciste arrives on horseback to save the
day and the case of tonal whiplash is staggering. The sight of this
Hercules movie escapee thrust into the environment of witch hunt fever
in 17th century Scotland is ludicrous, to say the very least, as he is
attired like Tarzan while interacting with characters who look like
puritans and rustic rabble straight out of central casting.
The unintentionally hilarious visual incongruity of Maciste in 17th cnetury Scotland.The
disconnect only becomes more pronounced when Maciste enters Hell and
randomly encounters Greek mythological figures in the forms of Sisyphus
(the guy who's damned to futilely push a huge boulder uphill for
eternity) and Prometheus, who is of course enduring having his
regenerating liver devoured every day by an eagle. All of this results
in a mildly diverting head-on collision of disparate genres that do not
necessarily go together like peanut butter and chocolate. It's worth
seeing for witchcraft and peplum completists simply because it's so
damned odd, but everyone else is likely to be left in a state of utter
confusion.
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