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Thursday, April 13, 2006


And so, my not-so-excellent vacation has come to an end and I am back to work at the barbecue joint. How weak-assed was my vacation, you may ask? Let’s put it this way: I was actually anxious to get back to work.
At least my first night back saw the place playing host to my old friend Amanda’s birthday party, a soiree replete with various East Coast comics-biz glitterati. A good time was had by all, and the birthday girl enjoyed herself to no end, and that’s just what I wanted to see.

As for the goals I set for myself to accomplish during my time off, I am sorry to say that very few of them got done. The much-needed osh-osh did not happen, I only managed to rid myself of a few of the boxes that were taking up space in my too small and too crowded studio apartment, and other than my bathroom having been given a proper scrubbing, my apartment still remains the model of disarray. However, I did manage to get some writing done, create perhaps the best pot of gumbo I ever made (substituting the Dungeness crabs with Alaskan King Crab legs gave the brew an incredible seafoody flavor), emotionally and psychologically center myself so that I am no longer openly and hair-trigger hostile to nearly everyone who crossed my path, and I also slept. A LOT. My body obviously needed it.

The one epiphany that I had during my time off is that I will most likely never plan my vacation around someone else, either to visit with them or have them stay with me unless they are my steady girlfriend or wife; in the past couple of years every time I have planned on spending vacation time with a nice young lady something has gone wrong with the party in question, and I so seldom get vacation time that it is too precious for me to map out only to have those plans go down the toilet at the eleventh hour. Perhaps the powers that be don’t want me to be happy in that regard, and so I concede defeat. So now if whichever person I want to see happens to be in town or I happen to be where she is, then that’s fine. I can handle disappointment well up to a point, but I have finally learned my lesson and it’s time to look out for Number One.

And with that, it’s back to work.


Jared said...

"The one epiphany that I had during my time off is that I will most likely never plan my vacation around someone else..."
I've seen you learn this lesson before. And the the osh-osh calls your name and the lesson go out the window. Such is the way of men and our unlearning of lessons.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you losers are ruled by your caks, but not me...

I beat it with a hammer whenever it starts to act up. And if that doesn't work, I turn it around and use the claw end. Quiets right down after that...