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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

BY ANY OTHER NAME

Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore in a publicity shot for GOLDFINGER (1964).

Ladies, once again one of my favorite subjects has been greatly on my mind — namely your pussies — and I need your feedback.

I often find myself in situations where I'm in conversation with a group of women and the subjects soon turn ribald; guys, don't let them fool you, women talk about all sorts of raunchy shit all the time and can be far, FAR more filthy and graphic than we usually get. A good example of this was the other night when a few nice young ladies I know were discussing certain aspects of a new boyfriend, exchanging every possible detail about the guy, and the girlfriend in question eventually offered up details about her own equipment that one would think best reserved for her OBGYN. She referred to her genitalia as her "junk," and upon hearing that I thought back to the women I have known intimately over the years and how they talked about their bits. One or two used "cunt" ( a term I rather dislike due to its guttural sound rather than any perceived offensive content), most liked "pussy" and several skirted the issue of using a term altogether, opting instead for "down there" or some other such vague turn of phrase.

So, ladies, when you give voice regarding your own vaginalicious excellence, what do you call it? Write in and lemme know; as you have no doubt gathered by now, I spend much of my time pondering the deeper issues of existence...

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hoo Ha.

As in "Damn! I've got a zit on my hoo ha and now I can barely walk straight!"

Alternates: Hoo hoo, love canal, muff, honey pot, honey muffin, jelly roll, grind house.

Anonymous said...

I vote Holiest of Holies

"...Ain't no fuckin' ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same fuckin' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Look, foot massages don't mean shit."

Anonymous said...

Uncle B. It's similarv to the "black" v. "african-american" debate. As long as it is said with love, I don't care what you call it. Of course, I remain partial to punani, for nostalgic reasons...
Cheri

Anonymous said...

what happened to good old fashion "twat"?

Anonymous said...

My sister recently reminded me that when we were kids our hippie parents called them our crannies (as in did-you-wipe-your). Then my mom went to nursing college, and by the time I was 9 or so we used clinical terms such as vagina.

Holiest and Grindhouse sound good though!

Jessica

Michelle said...

Alrighty - Pussy is probably the most used, because it is Clear, Catchy and not too gross. it is a universal one. But in the the company of certain aquaintences, I have used Punani or Punana - the proper form of which is Illnana. Punani can be sexual or not, but Illnana is definetly reserved for people talking about sex. And you have to say it in a sexy voice too, with lots of "L" sounds. I am a hater of "cunt", I save it for boys i dont like. twat? tooo.... many "t" sounds. The "S"s in pussssssy are much sexier.

I appealed to one boyfriend once to come up with a cute name for mine... we ended up on the Sanrio site and the term 'kiki-lala' HAS been used, even though i was against it from the get go. Kiki Lala, if it MUST be used to refer to a body part, is much better suited to boobs, since Kiki and Lala are the Little Twin Stars. fuckin' people , they dont undserstand anything.

But usually folks, i just start hollerin' "fuck me now! fuck me now!" and I dont really care which hole...

(that's right michelle, always end on a highnote)

Z-Unit said...

OK... first off, "twat" and "cunt" are no-no's. The former sounds like a noise you make while you're vomiting, while the latter's connotation has been killed after using it to describe bitchy asshole females. And never "junk."

I'm into some nice femme "pussy," maybe a little "cooch." "Dirty Hole" is the name of a song I like, so that sorta snuck in there (I assure you it's ONLY because of the VAST track).

And I'm with Michelle on this one, if the dude doesn't know where to stick it when I yell at him to "Fuck Me!"—we got a problem.

Anonymous said...
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Wendy said...

Hey chocolate love God. A hated ex-girlfriend of Eric's still wins the prize for to-to, with a long O sound. Hoo ha is fun. Punani, pussy, all these names are great. And I agree I use twat and cunt as insults or jokes, never as a reference to my actual heavenly parts. Still, to-to is my favorite.

Velma said...

Mine is generally "pussy," though I've been known to say "cunt." Other than that, I'm either specific about vulva/vagina, or ridiculous: "honeypot," or "womanhood," (if I've been reading too many bad bodice-rippers).

Suki said...

Those other names are cute, but generally, I use "down there" with my mom or my son (who is 3), pussy with my friends, and "cunt" with my boyfriend. One of the first things that I loved about Drongo was that he told me he wanted me to cunt him the night we met. What balls to use that word with me!

Suki the Self-Editor

Anonymous said...

lately i've been calling it my box.. LOL

Alysha said...

Hey, I like junk, mostly because it's pansexual . . . everyone's got junk. Of course, I'm fairly certain his Buncheiness was referring to me in the original post, so this may not come as a big shock. I'm also a fan of cooch and woo (or, for the extremely badass, wu, with an umlaut) in common parlance.

As for sex, not so much with the naming of the bits. (Ok, so I also like bits for its unisexuality.) I'm more about verbs than nouns in sex - I think I'd feel awkward assigning a name within that context, the closest I've ever come is Puss. Yeah, capital "P". That's how I roll.

Anonymous said...

I've always been partial to coochala, holy holy holy.

SG said...

Kitty, of course. As in, pet the kitty. Kitty needs a bath. Kitty's in heat. I also use the boss or bossy, as in bossy wants some, it's up to the boss, or even talk to the boss about it. There are lots of terms of endearment, like sweetness and sugarpie because I do love it so. And don't forget ruby, the star attraction. Oh, man, I am not normal.

Anonymous said...

i like pussy because its soft and likes to be petted and licked

Amber Love said...

Funny - I'm actually not keen on "pussy" but find that I'm not thrilled with any of the common terms. I'm one that skirts the issue or uses "hoo ha" or "hoochie" or something made up on the spot.

Ashley said...

I have no preference on what it's called. I used to be dead against the word "cunt" and relegated it for the people that I can't stand. But now, I use it in particularly naughty situations. If I am chatting with someone online and we are talking about fantasies and whatnot, I will use cunt. And I find that a lot of my friends in the kink/bdsm community will use cunt as it's seen more as a derogatory term. I also use va-jay-jay, hoo ha, cooch, choochie, lady bits, etc. Sometimes I will just make up a word