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Sunday, July 25, 2010

SUNDAY'S PORN DAY!

It's that time again and this week we have a number of real doozies. First up is the intriguingly-titled GIRTH, WIND & FIRE, apparently an interracial concoction for the "double-penetration nation."

I don't know about you, but a title like that conjures up images of a guy with a really thick dick sitting around and setting light to his own farts.

MONSTERS OF COCK 24 is self-explanatory, but what got me about this one is the look on the woman's face as a huge black flopper perches on her shoulder.

(And just so we're clear on this, I censored the image in order to avoid this blog getting yanked down by the Thought Police for being a porn site.)

While I often rail against parody porno that doesn't even make an attempt at creativity with titling, I absolutely love straight-up porn that says "fuck coming up with a clever title" and gives us examples that simply tell it like is. For example:

Whose mom doesn't? In fact, I bet that's how you came to be here.

Here's a title that I cannot believe myself, John Bligh or Hughes didn't come up with first. Probably because it was so close, we couldn't see it.

Seriously, how did we miss coming up with CHARLIE'S ANALS? It's certainly juvenile enough to have sprung from our oh-so-sophisticated collective sense of humor. The same can be said of our next offering.

Then we get to this bit of outright weirdness:

Thankfully not involving M-80's lodged into a lady's good stuff, here's what this one's supposedly about:

Last year, we asked a team of German engineers to develop a pussy pump for women. After months of research, they produced a prototype called the KA-90.

We enlisted five beautiful porn stars as our test subjects, and blew up their pussies. Then we took it a step further and had horny studs lick and fuck them to test out their new elasticity.

The results will astonish you! In fact, we guarantee that you've never seen anything like this in your life!


I bet!

This one's here strictly for the title.

And as for this one, somehow I think the late Bob Fosse would have approved:

And what's with "Songs of Semen?" Is this a musical ode to population paste?

At first glance this next one doesn't look like much,

but check out this product description:

In a galaxy pretty darned far away, somewhere in the distant future Princess Hubba Hubba (Stromy) reins the Clitorian Star system peacefully along side her father King Gonad. On the other end of the spectrum, the Evil Overlord (Mike Horner) and the Dark Witch, (Devinn Lane) rule the Intergalactic Vertical Integration Amalgamated Conglomerate with which they use to their advantage to do their evil bidding. The Evil Overlord has a master plan though, to take over the Clitorian Star system, so that he can have the power of the entire galaxy in his hands. Small problem though, the only way he can take over the Clitorian Star system is to wed the beautiful Princess Hubba Hubba.

This next one takes a prize for an inevtiable title.

Throughout the years, the porn industry has certainly done its share in the name of race relations, and BANG THAT BLACK BITCH, WHITE BOY VOL. 5 continues that fine unity-minded tradition.

But, in closing, this TWILIGHT-based parody has a truly stupid classic of a tag line:

"When you can fuck forever, you can fuck everybody." There's a certain poetry to that one.

3 comments:

Mindlesskirby said...

Wasn't Space Nuts the porn Steve Carell watches in The 40 Year Old Virgin?

Firefly said...

Charlie's Anals is a great title!

And what's wrong with the cover-girl for "Mom Loves Monster Black Cocks?" Doesn't she know where to get a decent spray tan?

Amber Love said...

TWILIGHT Porn! All right. I know what I'm getting The Nerdy Bird for Xmas!