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Friday, May 04, 2012

MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS-Not a review, but a few pertinent notes for opening weekend moviegoers

My dear Vaulties-

I saw MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS — yes, that's the actual title — at a midnight show and I will be seeing it again this evening so I can assess it without my fanboy in overdrive, but I wanted to take a moment to fill you in on a few pertinent things that give away nothing of the movie. Please take all of these points into consideration when venturing to see the film this weekend:
  • The film is nearly two-and-a-half hours long, excluding the inevitable commercials and trailers. It's never dull or draggy but it may tax the attention spans of the under-10's when things ain't a-splodin' or when the heroes aren't beating the shit out of assorted menaces (or each other), so gauge your kids' mileage well before you decide to bring them.
  • It's violent — very violent — but in a way quite expected for a superhero movie, although the scale and percussiveness of the superhero action in question is unprecedented. Some of the blows in this film are so utterly KABOOM! that you'll swear you were on the receiving end of them, but there are no dismemberments or showers of arterial spray or the Hulk ripping anyone's spine out through their asshole. (Sadly.)
  • The material is in no way unsuitable for kids and the profanity is quite mild, limited to occasional "damns," "hells," "bastards" and a "son of a bitch" sprinkled judiciously. I assure you, your kids hear far, far worse every day on the schoolyard or in your own home.
  • Though I went to a midnight show, the ticket holders' line started just after 9pm and we were not admitted into the foyer until 10pm and allowed in for seating about an hour later. The point being, make sure to get there early during the first week this flick is out. The geek presence at the midnight show was very strong and rabid, and I'm betting that's going to be the case across the nation for at least the next week or more.
Lastly, the most important point:

DO NOT LEAVE THE THEATER UNTIL THE CREDITS ARE FULLY OVER AND DONE.

No, seriously. I mean it. Don't leave the theater until you see the huge red Marvel logo, the screen goes blank and the lights go up. Trust me on this.

And with that, I'm going to bed and resting up until I hit the movie again in a few hours.

3 comments:

Acroyear said...

I am very much looking forward to your full review. Your take on things is always a breath of fresh air.

Robin said...

Thank you for posting the caveat at the end, Steve! I had to tell Terence that "Bunche says not to leave yet" after the first "Easter Egg." People were filing out of the theater like mad, but hearing it came from you convinced him to sit it out...and we were both very glad we did!

Buncheman (pop culture ronin) said...

Just doing my job, ma'am.