After a short wait, the B63 bus pulled into sight, much to the relief of the assembly waiting and melting at the stop. There's a driver on this bus line whose bus is rigged to play various tunes whenever the door opens to admit passengers, with his preferred musical accompaniment being the opening bars to the theme from THE TWILIGHT ZONE, and it was he who piloted the vehicle this afternoon. Today, however, he'd changed things up by rigging the door to play part of the ultra-nauseating Donny Osmond cover of the already treacly "Puppy Love" (originally a #2 hit for Paul Anka in 1960). When the door opened, the passengers were assaulted with the girly voice of Donny squealing out "And they call it puppy looooooooove/But I guess they'll never knooooooow/How the young hearts really feeeeeeeeel..." That snippet loudly repeated EVERY TIME the door opened, so imagine being a passenger who was on that bus for the long haul. Fifteen minutes of that was enough to make me contemplate a sadistic three-state killing spree while completely nude, save for a head-to-toe slathering of Nutella blended with Cheez Whiz.
The aural torture in question.