CALL ME, MAYBE...

While heading back to Brooklyn from the Fulton Concourse, I stepped into the elevator to the 4/5 train platform and was joined in the conveyance by a very pregnant young woman who had her android phone at the ready. The moment the door closed and it was just me and her. She began loudly talking into the phone with a nasal, ultra-ghetto accent and I swear to god this is exactly what came out of her mouth: 

"Ah'm in the Bronx an' lookin' faw a main dat wants ta watch me play wit' mah toys through mah panties an' watch me while ahm cummin'. Ah charge $200..." 

This was uttered without a second though about there being anyone else in the elevator, and when she disembarked I just stood there speechless before cracking up laughing. I tried to picture my mom having witnessed that and her head subsequently exploding, a la SCANNERS.

And why did she lie about the Bronx?