HALLOWEEN RAMPAGE 2009, or THE GREAT HALLOWEEN WASHOUT

Continuing from Friday's pre-Halloween stuff, the actual main event turned out to be a major letdown for a number of reasons, chief among which was the on-again-off-again rain that varied from a dealable mist to torrential downpours, so this year's Halloween Rampage was in actual fact The Great Halloween Washout. Anyway, here's a much smaller than expected photo safari of the day's events.

The gray and overcast Halloween morning, a portent of things to come...

While doing my pre-parade errands, I ran into Popeye at Key Food.

Yer Bunche with a werewolf nose appliance, my first foray into self-applied Spirit Gum and latex.

With snout and fangs.

The finished product: Dashiki Bunchewolf 2009, with Henry Hull-meet-James Brown hairdo and serious glow-in-the-dark claws.

Awaiting the R train into Manhattan.

A ghost rides the R train.

Two literal wiener dogs in Madison Park.

Jared arrives at Madison Park, rockin' his stylish new hand-painted look.

Jared's new look as seen from the back.

The Devil as seen on 23rd Street and Broadway.

A STAR WARS family. Extra Points to mom for representing as Ahsoka Tano!

A Baseball Fury, the first of several seen both in Manhattan and Brooklyn.

Two men of mystery take a cig brake.

About an hour in I began to sniffle and that's not fun at the best of times, but it's fucking disgusting when your nose is drooling into an over-the-nose appliance, so it had to go. Luckily I anticipated such a possibility and brought my trusty Duane Reed Bunchewolf mask and used that instead. I also removed the claws because they rendered virtually all use of my hands impossible, plus a few of the nails had already come off (one memorably fell into the medium root beer I'd ordered at Popeye's Chicken). And although I used acetone to take the nails off, the procedure proved quite painful thanks to the unusually strong bond provided by Crazy Glue between the claws and my fingernails. Getting them off took about fifteen minutes and a half-bottle of acetone, and it hurt like a bitch.

The evening's first Jesus. Totally in character, the guy was kind enough to bless me.

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As seen on Thursday night in Grand Central Station, the first of 2009's costumed revelers.

The first of several Michael Jacksons (as predicted), and the only one not rocking the red "Thriller" outfit.

"Ave!" An excellent Roman centurion, a welcome change of pace from those damned now-ubiquitous Spartans from 300.

A pair I can't believe I'd never seen at a Village Halloween shindig: the Ambiguously Gay Duo.

A security guard gets into the spirit as Captain America.

An intriguing Lady Gaga.

A gathering of super-gals.

The massively crowded streets. Repeat after me: NO FUN.

Russell from UP, complete with balloon house and Dug.

Soaked and mostly miserable, costumed would-be revelers attempt to wait out the on-and-off pissing-down rain. At this point my friends and I gave up on the parade due to unmanageable crowds both on the sidewalks and off, the disgusting humidity, and the rain that drenched us. Jared left to return to his upstate home while Susan, Daniel and myself walked back up to 23rd Street, a journey that fortunately yielded some fun shots that the parade itself did not.

The always welcome Wayne and Garth. "Schwing!!!"

A terrific Serena Williams, who wished me a "Happy Hallo-Queen." And I apologize for the haze on this shot; it was taking in the rain and the lens had fogged up from the humidity.

A family of Supers. Note the baby in the sling, also rocking a cape.

Green Lantern club bouncer.

Go-Go Yubari from KILL BILL VOL.1.

A charming kitchen crew.

Hunter S. Thompson, who's becoming more and more frequently seen at Halloween and at comics conventions. Hey, I totally approve, but I'm holding out for Uncle Duke.

Dad's rocking the John Stewart looks while his daughter represents for the NYC superhero contingent. This kind of thing just warms my heart.

Most gloriously tasteless costume of the night and a strong candidate for "Best Couples Costume Ever": the Kennedy Assassination.

Wonder Woman and Aquaman.

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch and The Monarch.

Wrasslin' legend Rowdy Roddy Piper, encountered back in Brooklyn and right outside the bodega where I stopped to pick up some consolation beers before I spent the rest of the night watching cheesy gladiator movies.

Monday morning on the way to work: as Halloween 2009 fades, the first wave of the legion of bell-ringing Santas shows up outside of Grand Central Station. Pfooey.

SO MUCH FOR THE HALLOWEEN RAMPAGE...

It's the day after Halloween and I'm sad to report that this year's Halloween Rampage was more of a Great Halloween Washout thanks to the pissing rain and the unmanagable crowds and sidewalk traffic, elements that led to myself and my fellow would-be rampagers calling it quits by 9PM. I got some photos but overall the mood was quashed by the inclement weather, so that was that.

Pfooey...

Anyway, expect the meager results of the photo safari in a day or two.

WHAT'S HALLOWEEN WITHOUT ELVIRA?

I don't care what anybody says, I love me some Elvira and I always will. The only way this shot could possibly be any better is if the car she's reclining upon were either Christine or Dragula. Or if her ample bosom were "accidentally" spilling out.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Happy Halloween, oh Dear Vaulties! Today is that sacred day of the year when we set aside our boring everyday identities and bestride the night in a myriad of guises that unleash our hidden sides and flush our inhibitions down the toilet. Today is a day for well-intentioned scares, eerie revelry, imbibement of intoxicating elixirs, and fornication with plastic devil horns suction-cupped to our foreheads, so get out there and do your damnedest!

Hail Eallra Hālgena ǣfen!!!

THE HALLOWEEN RAMPAGE BEGINS!!!

It's the day before Halloween and this year's rampage has begun in earnest, surprisingly starting as early as Thursday night. I ran into this charming family in Grand Central Station after leaving a bar where I was having a few rounds with some co-workers, and I was glad to see people already in the spirit.

I particularly like the one kid done up as the Swedish Chef from THE MUPPET SHOW, and he even did the "Bork bork" voice. The dad was dressed as an old lady who was out looking for her lost puppy:

From the front...

...and from the rear.

Then this morning rolled around, and since Halloween falls on a Saturday this year I readied myself to vie for costumed superiority among my co-workers at the design 'ho house despite it being a day before the actual main event because my office's costume-minded folks would also be representing, but more on me shortly. When I arrived I found a few of my fellow 'ho-housers had indeed showed up geared-up, and here they are:

Fellow metalhead Matt Yashian as the villainous Johnny from THE KARATE KID.

Matt again, rockin' the Cobrai Kai colors.

Jasmine, our resident High Priestess of Disney, works the casual Maleficent look.

Sales madman Jamie Warner makes with the Indiana Jones.

While I have another outfit for tomorrow's big photo safari to the massive and spectacular Manhattan Halloween parade at my annual perch at Christopher Street and the Avenue of the Americas, today I gussied up and rode the subway into work as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great Metropolitan newspaper.

The pullover head is actually a Jack Lord mask crafted by my old friend, professional Hollywood makeup maestro Andy Clement, for the NBC cop show HAWAII that ran for eight episodes during the fall of 2004. It's hot as a bitch in it, but I'm good to wear it for about twenty minutes at a time before my head completely melts off of my neck.

Clark shows off his press credentials.

Ready to once more save the world!

That's all for now, but I plan to have a comprehensive photo gallery of this year's full-blown rampage up no later than Tuesday morning, so stay tuned!