THINKING WHILE CRAFTING MEATBALLS

The first batch of my patented meatballs for 2010 gets underway.

Vaulties-

though this year has most certainly gotten off to a very good start indeed, I admit I've been lax with postings, due in part to not having as much time and motivation as I would like (along with having been out sick since Tuesday morning, only returning to work today). I'm working to correct this state of affairs by writing and stockpiling a number of articles that will allow me to get back on regular track, so I thank you for your kind patience.

While sick over the past few days I wasn't all that hungry, so when my appetite finally returned all i wanted was something simple to craft that would be a treat for my ravenous gullet. Several options were weighed until I settled on my patented meatballs, a delicate fusion of Italian and Swedish meatball flavors and techniques, and while cooking them I ruminated on the past month. (For me, cooking is something of an exercise in meditation whose results you can eat, so it's a win/win.) Among other things, my life has been improved by a new computer, a serious drive to stay true to my New Years' resolutions (so far successful), some much-needed and appreciated quality time with a kind representative of The Goddess, rooftop practice sessions with a new manriki gusari, some serious original comics art that is on its way, and a night out with some good friends who live far enough away to make regular visits a logistical pain in the ass, so it's all good.

I'm going to make like Geek in SURF'S UP and ride this wave of positivity, fully embracing its energy with a zen, one-with-it-all acceptance and serenity. I hereby surrender to whatever good fortune the fates have in store for me. What can I say? I'm groovin' on some of the best vibes the universe has sent my way in who can remember when, and I hope my aura reaches out and shares itself with all who are receptive. It wasn't so long ago when booze and other substances put me in a chemically induced version of this frame of mind, but this is the pure stuff and I like it just fine, baby. (No, I have not embarked on a twelve-step program; I'm just in a good place at the moment.)

And with that, I'm off to a weekend of getting my blogging shit together. Have a good weekend and take good care of yourselves, o my friends on the Internet whom I know in actuality and those whom I'll likely never meet. And if you have a steady squeeze, hold them close and love them ferociously.

REASONS WHY 2010 COULD BE PRETTY BITCHIN' #2: FROM FAKE TRAILER TO FULL-FLEDGED FEATURE

One of the many joys of GRINDHOUSE was its fake trailers, each a fun and evocative short that perfectly captured the feel of the genres they were straight-facedly lampooning, and perhaps the best-realized of the lot was Robert Rodriguez's MACHETE. Sitting through that coming attraction for a movie that would presumably never come made me wish that it was real, and now my prayers have been answered.

Yes, this is the actual teaser poster for the upcoming full-length MACHETE, and I'll be there on opening night (a date that has yet to be announced). Hopefully it will be ultra-violent and entertaining as hell, thereby scoring a huge hit at the box office and possibly opening the floodgates for a new wave of bigscreen exploitation flicks. Oh, please let it happen...

REASONS 2010 COULD BE PRETTY BITCHIN' #1: THE RETURN OF LUCY LAWLESS TO THE PEPLUM GENRE

Lucy Lawless as seen in the upcoming SPARTACUS: BLOOD AND SAND.

Not only is Lucy "Xena" Lawless returning to the tried and true sword and sandal genre — aka "peplum," after the short skirts worn by the oiled-up he-men who populated those tits & togas epics — she doing nudity! All together now, fanboys and lesbians:

Hooray!!!

But it must also be noted that while the rest her is apparently gloriously undraped, Lucy will not be flashing any Kiwi bush and will instead be kitted-out with a merkin that matches her character's red hair. Contrary to feeling cheated, I instead find it hilarious that the need was seen to disguise actual nudity with a crotch wig that simulates presumably era-accurate pubic grooming (i.e. none), so in effect she's nekkid anyway. Lawless was always funny when not "in character," and this is just a pisser!