"HEY! YOU GOT YOUR MESSIAH IN MY PEANUT BUTTER!"

Before you write back to ask, no, I'm not making this up.

I awoke early this morning, turned on NY1 News, and nearly laughed myself to death at what has to be the funniest news story of the week. Just in time for Holy Week, artist Cosimo Cavallero has crafted a life-size, "anatomically- correct" (meaning it has naughty bits) statue of Jesus Christ out of edible chocolate. And as if that wasn't amusing enough, the piece is entitled "My Sweet Lord."



Soon to be on public display, Choco-Christ has already been showered with outrage and criticism from the city's devout and, needless to say, the Catholic League. But what the fuck are they bitching about? Didn't Jesus say for people to eat of his body? I mean, sure you get the wafer put into your mouth, but if it actually transsubstantiates into actual flesh of the Lamb of God — as is claimed and believed worldwide — I find cannibalism far more distasteful than a sugary sculpture of a naked guy imitating the letter "T" who resembles a pony-tailed David Carradine. If folks want to get upset over a chocolate — read Black, muthafukka!!! — Jesus, why has no one complained about the decades-worth of images where J.C. looks like Greg Allman? Just something to think about, for Christ's sake!