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Monday, March 19, 2007


As if the idiots my mom associates with hadn’t pissed her off enough with actions detailed in the previous post, my mom called me this morning to fill me in on the latest idiocy.

Before leaving for church yesterday, my mom checked her emails and received the following from one of her congregation. Oh, and FYI, the woman who sent it is a super-wealthy White southerner:

From Subject: FW: Black ppl should read this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is deep, so take your time.

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ....
Lord .... Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone
the world would hold back?
Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...
Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone
who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye
when someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,
black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,
my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,
and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin
and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate me
and not know the person within?

Black is what people are "Labeled"
when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like my
skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think
it's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creation
make everyone the same?

GOD's Reply:
Why did I make you black?
Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal
from which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,
the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil
that grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion and
panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow
can be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds
from the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the
burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back,..that is MINE!

So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!

And as if all that wasn’t maudlin enough, it also included this postscript:

"Send this to every African-American/Afro-Caribbean/African person you know."

Why? In order to piss us off? This trite doggerel reads like something I’d write as a parody of such “inspirational” ramblings, only minus words like “motherfucker,” “race music,” or “White women.”

Anyway, upon arriving at church mom confronted the sender and chewed her a new one. I mean, is it National Irritate Mildred Month, or what?

And for the record, the poem is credited to one RuNett Nia Ebo, an actual American Black person, and was apparently inspired by the Book of Genesis 1:26 a, and 1:27 a & c. No wonder I fucking hated Sunday school.


Mark Gilson said...

did you happen to see the season opener of south park? there's a scene in it that basically sums up race relations in america rather succinctly. but seriously, why on earth would a white woman send that to a black woman and think it was okay? ohhhh, right. westport connecticut.

Anonymous said...

"Why are my eyes brown,
and not the color of the sky?"
The first 12 stanzas have got to be the most insulting poem I've ever read - internalizing every racist arguement in order to benefit ...what, exactly?
And speaking as a brown eyed person I never once ever wished my eyes were "the color of the sky"...

Anonymous said...

Jim Browski says:

What prose!
It ranks up there with such literary classics as, "Thank Heaven God Made Me A White Man" by David Duke and "Git Yo Own Water Fountain" by Strom Thurmond.

Anonymous said...

Why Did You Make Me Fat Lord ....
Lord .... Why did you make me Fat?


jenny v said...

is that for real?

Anonymous said...

It warms my heart that you & Mildred have something to bond over...