Fuck Johnny Depp, I have no idea if this is real or not, but I must see it.
Aaaaaarrr, oh lusty readers o' this hyar loony blog! 'Tis Talk Like A Pirate Day — I wouldn'a shit ye! — so staple a foul-mouthed parrot ta yer shoulder, slap on an eye patch and be sure ta annoy as many o' yer co-workers, friends and family as ye think ye can git away with before gettin' a rusty cutlass shoved straight up yer already-violated-thanks-ta-years-at-sea-wi'-the lads arse! Go out and get completely pissed on strong drink an' enjoy a good, manly puke, tastin' yer own bile and channelin' yer inner Eddie Teach!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrr, I say! Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr!!! (Why the fuck do pirates say that anyway? Are they hungover? Is it a symptom of scurvy? What the fuck is up with that?)
A terrible pirate joke:
Q: Gee, Mister Pirate! What's your favorite letter of the alphabet?
A: Aaaaaaaaaarrrrr, me heartie! Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrr!!!
(You may groan now.)