Who goes there?
Antarctica, 1982: The crew of a research station unearths a flying saucer that has lain frozen in the permafrost for an estimated 100,000 years, and along with that discovery they find an extraterrestrial life form encased in solid ice. The alien is taken back to the base, it thaws, reveals itself to be a murderous shapeshifting monstrosity that duplicates the crew and thus creates a web if paranoia and death, all leading to a bleak conclusion.
If that all sounds familiar, that's because it's the
plot basics for John Carpenter's now-classic 1982 version of THE THING,
and this late-to-the-game prequel is basically the same movie, only
minus director John Carpenter's signature touches and telling the story
of the Norwegian station that encounters the malevolent shapeshifter
before the hapless Americans of the 1982 iteration. Much like many a
modern remake — billed as a prequel or not, this really is little more
than a beat for beat a remake — the 2011 film brings nothing to the
table other than name recognition, as it goes through all the same
motions that we have seen before, only bereft of anything even
resembling the nail-biting suspense and paranoia of Carpenter's.
We don't really care about any of the characters, the feel of the proceedings come of like a knockoff made as a tepid TV movie of the week, and, worst of all, some asshat executive thought it would be a good idea to scrap the already completed practical effects and swap them out for CGI. Let me just say that while what's on display here is not bad, per se, these effects cannot hold a candle to practical effects where the prop creations have actual fleshy mass. It's the kind of thing that digital effects wizardry, amazing though it can be, just is not yet able to replicate. What's seen here looks and feels like something out of a high-end videogame
I put off seeing this film for twelve years, largely because what it depicts was outlined in the 1982 film, so we already know what happens before going in, therefore no mystery or suspense, and the '82 version's practical effects are the stuff of legend, now considered to be some of the best ever achieved, so why bother attempting it again with digital effects? The whole thing looked like a shameless cash grab to me, and now that I have seen it I believe my initial prejudicial impression was not wrong. It is by no means terrible and there are worse ways to pass an hour and forty-three minutes, but why bother when we still have Carpenter's landmark iteration to enjoy and thrill at? Stick with Carpenter's, as I would only recommend this one for those who care little for genuine suspense but live for flashy CGI gewgaws.
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