"Webster's definition of a coven is concise, terse, without the usual disclaimers or qualifications. It states simply that 'a coven is a band or assembly of witches.'"
While covering a garment union extortion racket, a string of suspicious maimings and deaths surrounding Trevi haute couture fashion collection for 1975 leads Independent News Service reporter Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin) down an investigative trail to direct confrontation with black witchcraft. As Kolchak, no stranger to sniffing out the supernatural, does the research, properly arms himself against old school maledictions, and gets closer to his target, the witch that he's after marks him as their next victim. But the question at the root of all of this is who's responsible, and what is their motivation?
As mentioned in previous years of 31 DAYS OF HORROR, KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER is part of the bedrock that turned me into a "monster kid" at a tender age. Though already addicted to horror movies, it was a delight to receive a weekly network teevee show that brought nine-year-old me stories of an ordinary man who found himself contending with the weird, the arcane, and the unnatural, and you can bet your ass that I never missed an episode while watching from the relative safety beneath our family room's coffee table.
I was drawn to Kolchak by virtue of his very ordinariness, coupled with his willingness to accept the impossible when directly faced with its complete and utter lethal reality. He was a Van Helsing for the late 20th century, an unlikely warrior against darkness whose vocation as a journalist gave him the patience, tenacity, and tools to do the work of figuring out the old ways to put a foot straight up the ass of the diabolical, and he never let his understandable terror spur him to flee. He always got the job done, often at great personal risk, and because of that he was my shabby hero.
I
chose to spotlight "The Trevi Collection" because this year's roster of
items needed a dose of Kolchak, as well as a bit more witchery, but
also because in this era of endless reboots, reimaginings, and remakes,
Kolchak is ripe for an update, provided the right cast, scripts, and
directors were in place. "The Trevi Collection" would be a fun place to
start, as witches on the left-hand path are among the most human of all
supernatural menaces, so they are not as easily identifiable as, say, a
stitched-together abomination like Frankenstein's creature, or a full-on
werewolf, or even a triffid. They are the evil that lurks hidden among
us, and once they strike, it's usually horrific and too late. Their
unholy endeavors can take on a myriad of dire forms, so the story
potential is limitless, constrained only by the imagination of the
writer and by what the censors will allow. And since witches usually
bear the aspect of an ordinary person, there's little or no need for
expensive prosthetics or CGI for their appearance, and studios love
being able to turn out a work that won't bankrupt them. Especially if
there's likely a colossal box office return on a relatively low budget.
In this case, picture Kolchak in an R-rated version of this story,
complete with all the tropes of classic black magic narratives. Bloody
sacrifices, nudity, and general disturbing weirdness and actions that
would never fly on TV or with a PG-13 rating. Now, that I want to
see, but unless that quality reboot happens, I will just have to be
satisfied with the legacy of a weekly spookshow that's just a year shy
of being a half-century old.
Bottom line: If you have never availed yourself to KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER, you owe it to yourself to check it out. In many ways there would never have been THE X-FILES if not for this series that predated it by two decades. There's good reason for KOLCHAK to be remembered and revered today, so stock up on crucifixes, holy water, and garlic (among other items) and join one fleabag reporter's ongoing battle against that which should not be.
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