THESE FUCKING STUPID KIDS

I never cease to be amazed by some of the t-shirts I see people sporting on the street, especially some worn by young barely-teenagers; I once saw a mother and daughter happily sharing a lovely afternoon, all while the maybe thirteen-year-old nymphette rocked a tight shirt that read, “I HAVE THE PUSSY, SO I MAKE THE RULES.” And her mom thought nothing of it!

This afternoon after suffering through six hours of waiting to be selected for jury duty and finally being released, I saw a young Hispanic lad walk past me in what at first glance appeared to be one of the eight million cereal box t-shirts that people wear all over the place, unintentionally rendering themselves free, walking advertising. The familiar Trix rabbit was emblazoned across the kid’s chest, familiar loony grin staring me in the face, and underneath the cartoon was proudly displayed the legend, “SILLY FAGGOT, DICKS ARE FOR CHICKS!”

This dumbass kid had not only the poor taste to wear such an item in public, but he rocked it exactly one day after the big gay pride celebration in Manhattan. I have serious doubts as to whether his parents ever saw the garment, since no parent that I know would have let their child out of the house thusly attired.

I stopped dead in my tracks and was amazed to see that no one else even batted an eye in response. It struck me that the company that produces Trix cereal probably did not license the rabbit for such use — at least I hope not —, I mean, it would be like witnessing a t-shirt depicting Charlie Brown looking exactly as he always does, except smiling while he exclaimed, “I’M GONNA KILL ME SOME NIGGERS!!!”

I sincerely hope that the kid who wore the shirt gets savagely verbally upbraided by his school’s acid-tongued, openly gay gadabout and is reduced to a blubbering mess with no hope of offering even a halfway decent comeback. When your shirt expresses the best wit that you can muster and it’s on this sort of level, that’s pretty fucking sad, dude.