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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME THAT I FIND THIS AMUSING?

The cast of HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3.

In my capacity as the proofreader at the design 'ho house I must suffer through various inane projects, but none grates on my nerves quite like the treacly nausea induced by the vomitous HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL in any of its three installments. It's cutesy, the songs suck, and I want to punch most of the cast members in the face or sell them into modern day slavery in the Sudan.

As I write this I'm taking a break from proofing the text for cards that tie in to HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3, and the only thing saving what remains of my sanity is the musical accompaniment provided by my massive and questionable iTunes library. The incongruous blending of my taste in tunes with the squeaky-clean antics of the denizens of East High lead me to smile at thoughts of the cast capering about while singing covers of non-hits such as GG Allin's "I Wanna Piss On You," "Sex Junkie" by the Plasmatics, and Cannibal Corpse's immortal "Entrails Ripped From A Virgin's Cunt," but the juxtaposition that actually made me laugh my ass off was the image of Sideshow Bob/Justin Guarini-lookalike Chad Danforth (Corbin Bleu) belting out the lyrics to the Feederz's infamous and ultra-blasphemous "Jesus Entering From the Rear."

Corbin Bleu as Chad Danforth.

My mind's eye pictured this smiling sponge-head leaping off of the basketball court bleachers while shrieking:

Jesus entering... from the reeeaaar!
Fucking yooooooou... in the aaaaaaaaassssss!!!

As Daffy duck once so wisely observed, "What the hey? I gotta have some fun!"

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