The Vault of Buncheness: GOD DAMN, YOU'RE HOT!!!-THE NEW YORK PERFECTION OF ROSARIO DAWSON

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

GOD DAMN, YOU'RE HOT!!!-THE NEW YORK PERFECTION OF ROSARIO DAWSON

I don't give a fuck about what anyone else has to say on the subject: no place on Earth generates women as drop dead beautiful as the five boroughs of New York City, probably thanks to every conceivable gene pool being present and being given free reign to get its interracial freak on, thus producing "gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh," as my man Alexander DeLarge would put it. Case in point: the Manhattan-born-and-raised wonder of Puerto Rican/Cuban/ African American/Irish/Native American Rosario Dawson.

As proven in many films since her debut in KIDS (1995) at the tender age of sixteen, Dawson has the acting chops to handle any role and is kind enough to get nekkid if the part calls for it (the only reason to see the otherwise worthless ALEXANDER). This combination of New York excellence and utter believability is what made her role as Becky in CLERKS II utterly charming, so much so that I just couldn't help but feel good whenever she was onscreen, looking simultaneously dorky and cute in those glasses.

In short, CLERKS II wouldn't have been half as good without her (and bless the studio brass at Miramax for stopping Kevin Smith from casting his marginally-talented wife in the part).

Dawson also rocked the screen hard in the excellent GRINDHOUSE and SIN CITY, only to compound those triumphs with her braver-than-brave performance in the bleak and outstanding DESCENT (2007), a harrowing character study of a college student's post-rape emotional meltdown. All three of these flicks are worth a rental, although keep in mind that DESCENT is definitely not for the squeamish, especially in its NC-17 version.

During the promotional junkets for GRINDHOUSE, Dawson and some of the film's cast and crew stopped off in Manhattan for a book signing — at Jim Hanley's Universe, one of the city's finest comics shops, if not the finest — and I dropped by to meet and greet (unfortunately my camera was in the shop, so no shots of Yer Bunche and Rosario, gawddammit).

The diminutive demi-goddesses team up to create the greatest magazine cover ever.

I was shocked to discover that both she and co-star Rose McGowan (further proof that the Irish make some gorgeous daughters) were positively tiny little things, but they both displayed huge and fun personalities, and Rosario went on to win over the fans even more when they realized she's a full-blown, card-carrying geek girl, well-versed in all matters of sci-fi, horror, and comic books. Just when I thought she could be no more perfect than she already is, she went on at length about STAR TREK in a way that only a bona fide fan can, and the effect was as if she'd taken off her shoes and walked on water. Since then I've been mesmerized, and I ain't complaining.