Search This Blog

Loading...

Sunday, September 26, 2010

SUNDAY'S PORN DAY!

It's time once again for our Sunday dose of filthy fun!

The DON'T TELL MY WIFE I ASSFUCKED THE BABYSITTER series keeps on rolling, but what amuses me about this is the title's sub-header of "Because She Will Fucking Kill Me!"

It fills me with a profound sadness to note that we've reached a point where natural tits are rare enough to have become a novelty. I weep.

Okay, I get that there's a market for foot fetishes. But volume 66??? Then again, there are literally gazillions of straight-up conventional porn, so I guess it's all the same when you really break it down.

This four film parody pack is notable for its variety and two great, ludicrous titles. HORAT: THE SEXUAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT BEAUTIFUL NATION OF KAKAFUCKISTAN should win some kind of award for being such a mouthful, and I just have to applaud the simple, utter vulgarity of CUNTOURAGE.

In case you were not aware, apparently Boobzilla has gone black and ain't "cumin'" back. And by "cumin'," they don't mean the essential chili ingredient.

This next one gets the runner-up prize for "Most Subtle Title of the Week."

It was a runner-up because you just can't beat this entry in the "old chick" sub-genre from White Ghetto Films, I WANNA CUM INSIDE YOUR GRANDMA VOL. 7.

This fascinates me for a number of reasons:
  • The fact that there is clearly a demand for porn catering to the fantasies of those who want to fuck senior citizens.
  • The fact that this is volume seven in a series, no doubt with more to come.
  • I was previously unaware that there is apparently an authority somewhere out there that certifies the authenticity of these post-menopausal cream pies. (For those who aren't familiar with the fetish, "cream pie" refers to a pussy visibly overflowing with some bohunk's spent DNA. Who says this column isn't educational?)
  • If the releasing company's name is any indication, we've finally reached a point in American culture where white people can apparently claim "ghetto" status and be proud about it.

2 comments:

Jim Browski said...

I think "Barefoot Confidential 66" is one of the weaker entries in the "B.C." series. It contains none of the charm or dynamic scripting, that was evident in the first 43 or so films in the ongoing saga. In fact, since about Barefoot Confidential 52, the series has lost much of its originality(though some say the decline started around film number 51) I'm sure, given enough pre production and a larger budget, that Barefoot Confidential 67 will return the venerable series to its former heights. Tarantino may direct.

Satyrblade said...

>we've finally reached a point in American culture where white people can apparently claim "ghetto" status and be proud about it.

Which is funny, of course, because the word is of Italian origin, referring to an island where Renaissance Jews were forced to live. The Latin root, jectare, means "to throw," and shares a common tie with ejection, rejection, and ejaculation.

Yep - your blog is educational. :)


@Jim: *laughs*