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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

THE MISFITS: GREAT BAND, IDIOTIC LYRICS

The Misfits, one of the great American punk bands and a source of inspiration to hard rock musicians for nearly three decades. I love 'em, you probably love 'em, and their unique sound is the reason for that; the buzzsaw guitar, the deep-assed bass, the whomp/whack and machine gun drums, and especially the vocals of the pre-total-douchebag Glenn Danzig, it's all good. So good in fact that, while hypnotized by Danzig's dulcet tones, you don't notice how incredibly stupid the lyrics to many of their songs are.

I discovered the Misfits relatively late in the development of my musical tastes — early 1986 to be exact, by which time the band had been defunct for three years — and, as always happens with any songs I fall in love with, I wanted to learn the lyrics. Unfortunately the Misfits albums were pretty much no-frills affairs, offering nothing but the album cover, a sleeve, and the vinyl, so I was shit outta luck as far as the actual words went and had to do my best to figure them out. I was joined in this quest by my pal John Bligh and for about six or seven years we did our damnedest to decipher the sacred phrases. We thought we did pretty well until the coffin-shaped boxed set of all Misfits albums save WALK AMONG US came out, an essential collection that included a songbook containing every lyric they ever penned, a tome that to us was like being handed the Rosetta Stone of New Jersey punk. But we were in for a big surprise when we sat down and read the lyrics, discovering immediately that many of the songs didn't make a lick of sense and in some cases seemed to be intentionally and aggressively stupid and pointless. I mean, even the awesome "Angelfuck" includes the immortal "My little Angelfuck, I see ya goin' down on a fireplug," so once done reading the formerly-arcane texts John and I had an epiphany that pretty much amounted to "We've wasted our lives." The shit still sounded great, but...

To illustrate this point, I'm going to share some of these songs with you and urge you to listen to them once you've read the lyrics. You'll be astounded at just how good a bunch of completely ridiculous horseshit can sound. (But then again, Yes is guilty of "Cause is time is time in time with your time and his news is captured," so what the fuck do I know?) And keep in mind that most of these songs clock in at around two minutes worth of playing time.

"Earth A.D."

Apparently a primer for existence among post-apocalyptic mutants/cannibals, this is from the band's later, more hardcore phase and as such it works quite well. That is until you actually pay close attention to the words.

1, 2, 3, 4
(patented Danzig howl) Whooooah!
When
You feel like you're going too slow
I bet you're gonna like it in A.D.
A.D.
People gonna talk about A.D.
A.D.
Bloody hell and sacrifice
You
Your head's on a big display
Well you're really gonna like it here A.D.
A.D.
People gonna talk about A.D.
A.D.
Living hell is not so bad
You bet your life there's gonna be a fight
You bet your life because the hills have eyes, yeah
You bet your life there's gonna be a fight
You bet your life because the hill have eyes
And then there's gonna be God instead of death is mine and then you (???)
(patented Danzig howl) Ooooooah!
Ooh!
On earth as it is in hell
We'll see you get to like it in A.D.
A.D.
People gonna talk about A.D.
A.D.
Bloody hell and sacrifice
You
Your head's on a big display
Oh, you're really gonna like it in A.D.
A.D.
The people gonna talk about A.D.
A.D.
Living hell is not so bad
You bet your life there's gonna be a fight
You bet your life because the hills have eyes, yeah
You bet your life there's gonna be a fight
You bet your life because the hill have eyes
And then there's gonna be God instead of death is mine and then you
You bet your life there's gonna be a fight
You bet your life because the hills have eyes, yeah
You bet your life there's gonna be a fight
You bet your life because the hill have eyes
And then there's gonna be god instead of death is mine and then you (unintelligible)

"Where Eagles Dare"

Having nothing whatsoever to do with the epic WWII movie of the same name, I have no idea what this song's about or exactly why Glenn's so adamant for us to know he "ain't no goddamn son of a bitch."

We walk the streets at night
We go where eagles dare
They pick up every movement
They pick up every loser
With jaded eyes and features
You think they really care

I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch
You better think about it baby, babe

An omelet of disease awaits your noontime meal
Her mouth of germicide seducing all your glands

I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch
You better think about it baby, babe

Let's test your threshold of pain
Let's see how long you last
That's happened in your rape
On bosoms of your past (?)

With jaded eyes and features
You think they really care
Let's go where eagles dare
We'll go where eagles dare

I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch
You better think about it baby
I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch
You better think about it baby, hey

"Come Back"

When I first heard this one I thought it was about a heartbroken guy pleading for his girlfriend to return to him, but upon closer examination it turns out to be sung by a corpse who wants a raven to come back and bite his face. Hunh???

Come back little raven and bite my face
I've been waiting, endless waiting
Come back and bite my face

Come back little raven, descend your home
This is not then, it is not now
Come back, descend your throne

I think you realize what I've done
Well, on a corner slept my horrible corpse
I'm not alive for anyone
I think you realize what I've done

You gotta come back
You gotta come back
You gotta come back
You gotta come back

Come back little raven, here bite my face
I've been waiting, endless waiting
Come back and bite my face

I think you realize what I've done
We're on the corner, slashed my heart for fun
I'm not alive for anyone
I think you realize what I've done

You gotta come back
You gotta come back
You gotta come back
You gotta come back

You gotta come back, come back, well, come back
Right back to me
You gotta come back, come back, come on back
Right back to me
You gotta come back, come back, come on back
Right back to me
You gotta come back, come back, come on back
Right back to me, yeah

"Bullet"

This one's actually a fairly coherent look at the Kennedy assassination, that is until you reach the last few lies, at which point we find out that Danzig's semen is so awesome that it can raise the dead and all Jackie has to do to restore her dead hubby is blow and/or jack off Danzig. Repeat after me, kids: "Hunh???"

President's bullet-ridden body in the street
Ride, Johnny ride
Kennedy's shattered head hits concrete
Ride, Johnny ride

Johnny's wife is floundering
Johnny's wife is scared
Run, Jackie run

Texas is an outrage when your husband is dead
Texas is an outrage when they pick up his head
Texas is the reason that the presidents dead
You gotta suck, suck, jackie suck (???)

President's bullet-ridden body in the street
Ride, Johnny ride
Kennedy's shattered head hits concrete
Ride, Johnny ride

Texas is an outrage when your husband is dead
Texas is an outrage when they pick up his head
Texas is the reason that the president's dead
You gotta suck, suck, Jackie suck

Arise, Jackie O.
Jonathan of Kennedy
Well, arise and be shot down
The dirt's gonna be your desert
My cum be your life source
And the only way to get it
Is to suck or fuck
Or be poor and devoid
And masturbate me, masturbate me
Then slurp it from your palm
Like a dry desert soaking up rain
Soaking up sun
Like a dry desert soaking up rain
Soaking up sun

"Demonomania"

Short like a sunuvabitch, this song cracks me up every time I hear it. And toddlers love it!

Look upon me
I am the beast

Demonomania, demonomania, demonomania
My father was a wolf
Demonomania, demonomania, demonomania
My mother was a whore

You check and see
Reality of the wolf
Its in the blood
I wanna be the fucking savior

Humans are weak
What else you fucking do
Humans are weak
I want your blood

Demonomania, demonomania, demonomania
My father was a wolf
Demonomania, demonomania, demonomania
My mother was a whore
Demonomania, demonomania, demonomania
My mother was a whore
Demonomania, demonomania, demonomania
My father was a wolf!

(And he meant that shit!)


"Some Kinda Hate"

Again, I have no fucking clue what this song's about and it features the most gratuitous use of the patented Danzig "whoa" ever committed to vinyl. Plus it rivals Frank Zappa's endlessly repeated "A ren-nen-nen, a ren-nen-nen, a ren-nen-nen-a-renda" from 1979's "I'm So Cute."

There's some kinda love
And there's some kinda hate
The maggots in the eye of love
Won't copulate (???)

And it's a whoah oh oh oh oh
And it's a whoah oh oh oh oh
And it's a whoah oh oh oh oh
I said whoah whaoh oh, oh oh oh

Hear the cats cry
Liitle tortured babies in pain
Cracked necks by settled limbs
They don't hesitate

And it's a whoah oh oh oh oh
Baby whoah oh oh oh oh
And it's a whoah oh oh oh oh
I said whoah, whoah, oh

There's some kinda love
And there is some kinda hate
I'm gonna tell you all about it now
The maggots in the eye of love won't copulate

And it's a whoah oh oh oh oh
Baby whoah oh oh oh oh
Baby whoah oh oh oh oh
I said whoah whoah oh, whoah oh

Lennon and McCartney, eat your hearts out!!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

>An omelet of disease awaits your noontime meal
Her mouth of germicide seducing all your glands

*snickers*

Is it any wonder his comic books sucked ass?

And 'ol Glenn didn't get much better after that, although "Twist of Cain," "Mother" and "Long Way Back from Hell" still fucking rock.

John Bligh said...

Heh. The best part of all the songs you mention above is how great and, dare I say, catchy they all are.

Danzig was clearly the driving force behind the band, and it always disappointed me that his post-Misfits output is so boring, average and downright sucky. Perhaps Jerry Only had more to do with the Misfits "sound" than we've been led to believe.

And you could literally write a book attempting to decipher dumb Misfits lyrics. As far as I know, there's not one song in their entire "real" pre-1983 catalog that makes any literal sense.

For even more super-nonsensical tunes, I'd recommend "We Are 138", "American Nightmare" (Danzig does a particularly good Elvis impersonation in that one), "Night of the Living Dead" (Line example: "ripped up like shredded wheat"... Uh... sure.) and the oft-covered (most memorably by Metallica) "Last Caress" which is ostensibly about killing babies and raping mommy's, but is so damn catchy, you'll find yourself humming along with the song despite it's incredibly offensive imagery.

Anyway, enough of me and my run-on sentences. Bunche, I think you need a sequel to this blog entry.

Anonymous said...

I had wondered many of the same things about the seemingly senseless lyrics. I think Bullet is pretty self explanatory though. Jackie O was a whore and had to find someone else to leech off of after Kennedy's death. In my search I came across a fairly good (if not a bit too clever) explanation for Angelfuck which I thought I'd share with you. It's beyond my knowledge of EU History, but seems to make sense. From songmeanings.com

"...First I will start with a few mistaken meanings,
Angelfuck = an entity who fronts as if they are without flaw but has a dark side or hidden agenda.
Fireplug = a political body used for choking out media propaganda.

Little Angelfuck, (Refers to backstabbing Finland's involvment during Lapland war aginst Germany)
it's a shame that luck is the only thing, (Luck due to Russia breaking the German front for Finland)
did you like the fun,
did you like the times that I promised you, (Finnish and German pre war relations)

open wounds on your brow, (war stricken Finnish army)
little angel in red, (A soviet puppet state)
she aint lovin you any more.. (refers to their homeland not accepting them as a state)

little angelfuck,
i see you goin down on a fire plug, (broken cease fire treaties & arrogance towards war propaganda)
little angelfuck,
size for everyone, (this is meant to be hypocritical, 30% of Finland was deported due to boundries)

Let those bastards believe, (Russia)
Dry your eyes and we'll leave (many cease fire treaties broken/ German occupancy)
she isnt lovin you anymore,,,,,,

I hope this shed some light on this song. It took the entire band weeks to get the lyrics right , so that we could use a play on words. The average person gives two shits about the Lapland War and this is why we have multiple meanings in our music so that everyone can enjoy."


Oi oi!
CJ