Tuesday, December 11, 2007
THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF CINDERELLA
So Cinderella marries that boring closet case of a prince but she still won't settle down and behave herself, much to the chagrin of her Fairy Godmother. Tired of seeing Cindy going out every night, cruising the kingdom in her souped-up pumpkin, drinking like a madwoman and generally whoring about with men other than the prince, the Fairy Godmother comes down hard on Cinderella and tells her, "Girl, I am completely fucking sick of you carrying on like a college coed. Hell, you didn't even go to college! If you don't stop messing around, I'm gonna turn your vagina into a pumpkin!" Cinderella promises she'll clean up her act, but that night she goes out again, decked out in her sluttiest ball gown, and the Fairy Godmother, utterly fed up, casts her spell.
Just before dawn, Cinderella returns to the palace, drunk as hell and looking like she's just come back from Fleet Week. The Fairy Godmother greets her at the door with, "Well, what have you got to say for yourself?" Cinderella literally falls all over herself and gushes, "Oh, bless you, Fairy Godmother! Bless you!!!" Confused, the Fairy Godmother says, "What the...?!? But I turned your vagina into a pumpkin!" The bright-eyed, smiling Cinderella looks at her and replies, "Yeah, but my date was with Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater!"
(INSERT RIMSHOT HERE)