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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

ON THE SIDEWALKS OF NEW YORK-"ISN'T THAT INDECENT EXPOSURE?!!?"

Always, always, ALWAYS have a digital camera close at hand, because you never know what kind of fucked-up shit you'll see. A case in point:

I walked out of the design 'ho house onto Third Avenue in search of this week's new comic books and a salad for lunch, and as I turned to walk up the avenue I caught sight of some dude wearing nothing but shoes, socks, a pair of sneakers, and a skimpy pair of what were either undies or a swimsuit. Plus, his hair was braided like he was an Injun brave.

I've seen a lot weirder stuff in my seventeen years in the Rotten Apple, but it was in no way hot enough for this outfit, and along with several wolf whistles and cat-calls that opinion was loudly voiced by several passersby. The guy didn't seem to care, though, and he merrily went on his way, eliciting much laughter from construction workers and innocent pedestrians. One corporate blonde was clearly shocked to the core, and exclaimed, "Isn't that indecent exposure?" I didn't catch a glimpse of the guy's package, so I can't judge that one way or another.

Once I got a look at the dude's face, just before I had to turn left on 45th Street for the comic book shop, he reminded me of an under-dressed lookalike for Jimmy Carl Black from the Mothers of Invention, the self-described "Indian of the group."

Jimmy Carl Black as Bertram Redneck in 200 MOTELS (1970).

So repeat after me kiddies: Always, always, ALWAYS have a digital camera close at hand.

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