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Wednesday, June 27, 2007


Yours truly, approximately seven months old, 1966, before I was ruined by potables, pussy, and pot.

It's June 27th, 2007, and today I am forty-two years old.

Forty-Two, the number that is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, according to the late Douglas Adams, author of THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY and its subsequent volumes. Yet despite its status as a supposedly universal catch-all for any question posed, I still find myself with many, many unanswered queries at this stage of my existence. But then again, that may be the whole point of Forty-Two.

You see, in THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY there was this computer named Deep Thought that was created by a hyper-intelligent race of pan-dimensional beings to suss out the ultimate answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, a task that took it some seven-and-a-half-million years to complete.

Production illustration of Deep Thought from the feature film adaptation.

When all was said and done, the answer turned out to be 42. That may all have been well and good, but such an answer is useless without a question, something that the programmers failed to take into account, so Deep Thought's creators were pretty much right back where they started: with bubkes. Since even Deep Thought had no clue as to what the Question might be, it offered to design an even more awesome computer, one comprised of biological components, called the Earth. So Deep Thought creates the Earth and thus begins a ten-million year calculation in quest of the Question, but five minutes before the calculation is completed the Earth is wiped out by an alien constructor fleet to make way for an interstellar traffic bypass. So, again, bubkes.

In my own case I, too, have come up with the existential equivalent of bubkes in so much as that I've yet to figure out exactly what the fuck I'm doing with my life. But I am taking the steps to forge a new standard of living and endeavour, by getting off my ass and letting the creativity flow unfettered, allowing myself to rediscover what a social life is, and actively chasing women again in earnest (I have my eye on one in particular...). It's all good, and other than the occasional lapse regarding the usual day-to-day bullshit that we all have no control over I've been doing pretty well.

And on that note, folks, since it's that time of year again, come on down to BUNCHE'S DIVE BAR BIRTHDAY BASH!!! It's gonna be held at Park Slope's legendary O'Connor's, an absolute dive if ever there was one, complete with dirt-cheap drinks, a decent jukebox, and easy train access for eight different subway lines, so whaddaya waiting for? Presents are not required — you being there is present enough — so come on down and help me celebrate another year of my excellence! The place is dank and dark, so keep an eye out for me in this shirt:

So here's the info:

39 5TH Avenue in Brooklyn
(718) 783-9721

WHEN: Saturday, June 30th
8:00 PM - ???

Take the 2, 3, 4, 5, D, N, R, or Q trains to ATLANTIC AVENUE/PACIFIC STREET. When you are above ground you should be on 4th Avenue, so look around until you see a clock tower with the clock obscured by construction netting; if you see that tower, face in the opposite direction and walk up 4th Avenue until you reach DEAN STREET and hang a left. Walk over by one avenue and you’ll be on 5TH AVENUE. O’Connor’s is right there, across the street from a restaurant called EL VIEJO YAYO. The place looks like a no-frills bunker, and it pretty much is.

Yours truly during the Great Tequila Drought of 2006.

I hope to see you there, and Happy Birthday to me! I just wish JWP was here...


Scott Koblish said...

Happy Birthday Steve! May you be blessed with good circumstances and fine women-

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, you geezer perv! ;P

jewishwarriorprincess said...

My spirit is with you from waaay across the pond. Have a shot for me. Love you lots. Happy Happy Happy Bday!

Nicole said...

Happy Birthday Hot Stuff!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Jim Browski says:

As Indiana Jones said, "It's not the years baby, it's the mileage".


Anonymous said...

Stephen wordwsworth getty rothschild-bunchington IV.
happiest of live living wishes on this your greatest of birthdays. How many roads must a man walk down... 42. how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a toosie pop... 42 (or 3 if you're an owl with a morter board). how many white castle cheese burgers can any human being eat before the noxious gas build up causes there intestines to hemmorage... 42. how many times does that whiny little girl in hakuto no ken say "Ken...???" per episode... 42.
What number is tattooed on the side of my leg 42 cm from the ground? 42.
i hope this year is so good your head explodes!
come to bbq tonight!
-big mike