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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND-LAWN GUYLAND, FRIENDS, FAMILY AND WAY TOO MUCH FOOD

This past weekend found Yer Bunche on Long Island for my niece Cleo's fifth birthday and a mellow backyard barbecue at her parents' place in New Hyde Park, and the annual hoo-haa at my pals Seth and Ruth's in Baldwin. That's all well and good for me, but rather than bore you readers with all the details regarding the assorted mutants and miscreants who comprise my extended family, I've opted just to give you highlights and a few touching/charming/sweet moments from the whole magilla.

Probably my favorite roadside oddity in New Hyde Park, Long Island, wouldja believe this is a McDonald's, complete with drive-through window?

This quite atypical McDonald's is a colonial-style house that, according to my friend Cat, was several different things during its history, including a funeral home and a pancake house, but it eventually fell into disrepair. It was either going to be torn down or Mickey D’s was willing to buy it. And they freeze the garbage so it won’t smell and pollute the area.

Seth Lerner: smokin' fool.

Seth turns the "bacon explosion," a pork tenderloin wrapped in a woven lattice of swine-flesh strips. Aka "too much of a good thing."

Six months along and doing great: a resplendent Olivia relaxes as "Batgirl Jr." percolates.

His Royal Blighness arrives, rockin' a t-shirt featuring Pazuzu, lord of the Assyrian/Babylonian wind-demons. And to think that John was once a nice Catholic lad...

Detail of the Pazuzu shirt. If you've seen EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC, you'll get it. And I give this extra points for the inclusion of the locusts as a framing motif.

The traffic-stopping adorableness of Hannah.

This is a pitcher of Mint Juleps prepared by a well-intentioned Eddie Murr that I had to go in and re-tool so that it was fit for human consumption. There was so much fucking whiskey in it that just the fumes from it were enough to fuel the space shuttle for three round-trip missions.

A possessed Eddie foists one of his Satanic Mint Juleps upon an unsuspecting Susan Boardman.

John and Eddie vie to see whose t-shirt is the more stupid. (I say it's Eddie's.)

"Pops" Robertson and our hostess, Ruth Crystal. During my days at the barbecue joint, Pops once came in with Ginna ("Foxy Doctah") and (Sexy) Lexi — his daughters who are around my age — and Charlie and Barbara, his pre-teen offspring, and our bartender asked me who the old guy with the two broads and the kids was. When I explained that Pops was the father of the lot of them the bartender respectfully observed, "What a pimp!"

Olivia explains to the kids just how she came to be carrying the child of the Devil.

Following a week of fun at Disneyworld, her birthday party and a backyard cookout on the same day, and that followed by the Seth and Ruth shindig and a skull-meets-refrigerator moment during a friendly donnybrook with two much larger boys, an exhausted to the point of near-hallucination Cleo is brought home to catch some much-needed Z's.

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