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Sunday, May 24, 2009


Okay, it's Sunday and time for porn and related filthiness, but these two items take the goddamned cake. Ask yourself which is more conceptually appalling: a disposable and ready-to-use pussy in a can,

The can, with anime-girl label...

...and the contents (or should that be "cuntents?")

or a Baby Jesus butt plug?

For me, it would have to be the tall-boy of silicone punani, because talk about taking something totally excellent and reducing it to a soulless bit of minimalism that would make for the most disturbing bit of recycling yet seen... And what's up with how it looks? The Japanese are virtual sorcerers when it comes to their skills at sculpting things that look like they're practically alive, and I've seen other artificial vaginas created in the Land of the Rising Sun that blow this sorry example away like Nagasaki, so why does this look like a grapefruit-half in a can? Where are the labia?

As for Baby Jesus as butt plug, I feel like I've already had Baby Jesus repeatedly shoved up my ass since childhood, so where's the novelty in that? I will give it points for blasphemous appeal, but I still think can-o'-cooter is worse for ruining the image of "the Good Place." Seriously, what the fuck ever happened to just plain old jerking off?


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