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Thursday, October 13, 2022

31 DAYS OF HORROR 2022 - Day 13: LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND THE MONSTERS (1962)

               The Queen of Badness versus Little Red Riding Hood. No, you have not gone insane. 

Sometimes a movie is less of a movie and more of a warped fever dream, and that's what we have with this one.

The third in a series of Mexican Little Red Riding Hood kiddie cheapies, the basic plot of this time-waster finds the Queen of Badness (Ofelia Guilmáin, a dead ringer for the evil queen from Disney's SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS) presiding over the world's monsters and sentencing the Big Bad Wolf (Manuel 'Loco' Valdés) and an ogre (José Elías Moreno) to execution for turning against their evil brethren and becoming friends with Little Red Riding Hood (Maria Gracia) and Tom Thumb (Cesáreo Quezadas), our heroes in the previous installment, while simultaneously enacting a plan of vengeance that will transform all of the people in Red and Tom's village into monkeys and white mice. Aided by Stinky the skunk (a little person in a tatty skunk suit, and dubbed with the most annoying voice imaginable), Red and Tom must put things to right. (Oh, and Tom Thumb is only briefly seen at his signature tiny stature, presumably because oversized sets and other special effects would have been far too costly.)

What did I tell you about drinking the water in Mexico?

This film is aimed at the youngest and most un-discerning in the audience, so its producers likely figured that such considerations as decent production values, a script that does not talk down to its audience, and musical numbers that won't make one want to commit suicide did not matter, as the flick would likely only be seen on the kiddie matinee circuit for a few weeks before its audience aged out and forgot all about it. It's only a step above such rock-bottom children's fare as THE MAGIC LAND OF MOTHER GOOSE (1967), THE WONDERFUL LAND OF OZ (1967), and the infamous SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972), and therein lies its ability to fascinate. Cheapjack to the bone and not giving a good goddamn about it, the film operates on the most elementary of "kid logic," and as such it comes off like what would happen if one guzzled two gallons of industrial-strength Nyquil, generic tequila, and Mexican cough syrup if one were three years old. Plus, it's loaded with monsters, such as:

Dime store Frankenstein!

And a singing vampire.
 
Plus, to say nothing of the shamelessly copyright-infringing "Queen of Badness."

"I am NOT ripping off Disney's Evil Queen! That bitch was white! I'm fucking GREEN!!!"

The print quality of the English-language version that I endured was rather washed-out, thus lending the film a snuff film aesthetic that is ultra-disturbing when applied within the context of a movie aimed at kids barely old enough to be in nursery school. That queazy, surreal effect is only bolstered by a garish color palette, ugly costumes and makeup straight out of a grade school stage production held in a gymnasium, and one of the worst examples of terrible dubbing on record, with that last element being most excruciating during the horrendous songs. It's a tapestry of madness, and it could not be more horrifying if being a glimpse through a doorway into full-on Lovecraftian terror were its actual intention. This one's an endurance test, to be sure, but I recommend sitting yourself and several friends through it, provided you have a lot of hard liquor, strong illicit smokables, and possibly even hallucinogens close at hand. Its David Lynch and Jodorowsky for the sandbox set, and I can tell you with authority that had I seen this when I was the age of its target audience, lighthearted and insufferably cutesy though it is, it would have given me nightmares for years. LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND THE MONSTERS is pure unintentional fear fuel. Recommended solely for the very brave, and for those with a high tolerance for childish inanity. 

Poster for the Mexican theatrical release.
 
Poster for the American theatrical release.

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