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Thursday, May 19, 2022


A saga concludes amid the scattered corpses of brain cells and the violated corpse of a once-beloved franchise.

Well, I made it through to the end of STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER during Wednesday's dialysis, and while it was an unmitigated piece of utter shite, I did not hate it anywhere near as much as I expected to. Is it the worst STAR WARS MOVIE? From a conceptual and narrative standpoint, I would say so, but it certainly didn't bore me, as it threw too much shit at me too quickly for me to think at all about what was unfolding. The pace borders on insane, which is a good thing when you have a plot as nonsensical as this. 

However, while it is a tragic example of everything that's wrong with current blockbuster cinema, especially of the tentpole franchise variety, I found THE RISE OF SKYWALKER entertaining in the same way as I enjoyed the equally indefensible BATMAN AND ROBIN, specifically by thinking of it through the lens of what would have happened of you gave an 8-year-old unlimited access to STAR WARS toys and a video camera and told them to go ahead and make a movie. It would have made about as much sense as THE RISE OF SKYWALKER and probably would please the kiddies in the audience, and it sure would be pretty to look at. (Though I would have been pissed if I paid to endure it in the theater.) 

  Kylo Ren attempts to fight his way out of his own movie. He fails, but at least the filmmakers did him a solid by killing him once and for all, so there's that, I guess.

That said, I have a LOT to say on this mess and I will need a few days to really mull over my thoughts on it and take notes before writing a proper review of it for The Vault.


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