AWRIGHT! FOUR MORE YEARS!!!

Deal with it, America.

NOW IT'S OFFICIAL: WE GOT A BRAND NEW FUNKY PRESIDENT!!!

I just watched Barack Obama getting sworn in as the nation's 44th president and was honestly more moved by his speech than I ever thought I would be. So all I have to say now is: Well done, Mr. President. Well done.

Now let's see what you've got.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!

Not a doctored photo: proof that Obama is indeed "magical" as the song title postulates?

The guy's not even in office yet and the American sense of inappropriate humor has already hit the launching pad, and I'm the first to admit I giggled when I read this. Hey, it could have been worse; at least the song wasn't entitled "Barack Me Amadeus" or some shit... From CNN:

RNC CHAIRMAN CANDIDATE DEFENDS 'BARACK THE MAGIC NEGRO' SONG
By Rebecca Sinderbrand CNN

(CNN) -- A candidate for the Republican National Committee chairmanship said Friday the CD he sent committee members for Christmas -- which included a song titled "Barack the Magic Negro" -- was clearly intended as a joke.

The title of the song about President-elect Barack Obama was drawn from a Los Angeles Times column. "I think most people recognize political satire when they see it," Tennessee Republican Chip Saltsman told CNN. "I think RNC members understand that."

The song, set to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon," was first played on conservative political commentator Rush Limbaugh's radio show in 2007. Its title was drawn from a Los Angeles Times column that suggested President-elect Barack Obama appealed to those who feel guilty about the nation's history of mistreatment of African-Americans. Saltsman said the song, penned by his longtime friend Paul Shanklin, should be easily recognized as satire directed at the Times.

The CD sent to RNC members, first reported by The Hill on Friday, is titled "We Hate the USA" and also includes songs referencing former presidential candidate John Edwards and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, among other targets. According to The Hill, other song titles, some of which were in bold font, were: "John Edwards' Poverty Tour," "Wright place, wrong pastor," "Love Client #9," "Ivory and Ebony" and "The Star Spanglish Banner."

Saltsman was national campaign manager for former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee's presidential bid in 2007 and 2008. Before that, he held a variety of posts, including a number of positions under former Sen. Bill Frist of Tennessee.

IN THE WORDS OF DR. SAM JOHNSON: "HE SAID THE SHERIFF IS NEAR."

Sheriff Bart arrives in Rock Ridge to deal with some serious shit.

That's right, folks. There's a new sheriff in town and he's got some serious shit to deal with, what with having to fix the past administration's legacy of toxicity and all. But unlike Sheriff Bart in Mel Brooks' classic examination of Western genre tropes and racism, BLAZING SADDLES (1974), Barack Obama was ushered into office with the happy and willing aid of one hell of a shitload of white folks. No "up yours, nigger" for him, but rather the polar opposite, and with such a show of the nation perhaps finally waking up and not giving a shit about race I'm given a bit of hope for not just the government, but also for the people of America. Maybe we'll finally see some of the promise about this country that's been hyped since day one put into effect as something other than self-congratulatory rhetoric.

Well done, America. Let's see what happens in January!

WE GOT A BRAND NEW FUNKY PRESIDENT!!!

People, people
We gotta get over
Before we go under
Hey country!
Just changed!
Brand new funky president, yeah!

-"Funky President (People It's Bad)" by James Brown (slightly paraphrased)

Thanks to all the drunken, fire-works and shouting-accented post-election revelry that took place outside my apartment's window I got very little sleep, so I'm not quite up to writing anything clever. Maybe later, but for now please accept one of my patented crappy Photoshop numbers and the words of the late James Brown.