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Wednesday, September 08, 2010

ON THE LOOSE AT DRAGON CON 2010!!!-Part 1

Ah, the Labor Day weekend. The unofficial end of the summer. A last seasonal hurrah for cookouts, beach parties and roving herds of scantily-clad females. It's also when the annual Dragon Con rolls around and turns downtown Atlanta into a fevered hallucination rendered into fleshy three-dimensionality. It's one of my favorite vacation destinations, celebrating as it does the might and majesty of geekery in many of its permutations, and I once more found myself there and on the loose, armed with a press pass and a strong need to be among my people, namely the great throng of concentrated American geeks. There are certainly many other venues in which to mingle with my brethren and sistren (yeah, I know that's not a word), but Dragon Con remains my very favorite of them all.

9/2-The day before the kickoff.

I awoke early and made my way to LaGuardia Airport to make the first of two connected flights that would get my beige ass to Atlanta — I would have gone for a one-stop direct, but I booked too late for that to have been an affordable option — and as I made my way to the terminal's food court for a quickie breakfast, I ran into friend and former DC colleague Scott Nybakken.

Yer Bunche and the excellence that is Nybakken.

I asked him if he was also on his way to Dragon Con, but instead he was headed to visit some friends in the Carolinas. I should have already figured he wasn't headed to the con because DC doesn't set up a presence there, but it would have been great to have him around as a companion and convention drinking buddy.

After two uneventful and packed U.S. Airways flights, I disembarked in Atlanta and opted to take the MARTA train system to the hotel, rather than get fleeced by the available shuttles and taxi pirates who charged an average staring fare of $16.50. Word to the wise when attending Dragon Con: always take MARTA because it's only a twenty-minute ride from the airport to Peachtree Center, which puts you off right smack in the middle of where all of the con's hotels are, and the fare is a mere $2.50 each way. To an everyday subway rider like me, it's completely painless.

Upon arrival at the Hyatt regency, it was already quite apparent that things were gearing up for Dragon Con and there was a palpable air of a powder keg of geekishness being primed for ignition. I took it as a good omen that the first thing I witnessed during check-in was a guy who'd brought his own homemade version of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000's Tom Tervo, only with a different color scheme and equipped with weapon-arms.

With Servo coming in second only to the robot from LOST IN SPACE in my estimation of fictional automatons/artificial intelligences, I was particularly tickled by this interpretation as it played into tiny and somewhat-fey Tom's own fantasies of being a powerful, conquering death-machine, a persona he once described as "Servotron: destroyer of worlds."

Both Josh Elvis Weinstein and Kevin Murphy — respectively the originator of the character and the replacement actor/puppeteer whose performance of Servo for nine years truly defined the little red 'bot — were listed as appearing at the con and I'd have loved to have seen their reaction to this excellent bit of DIY hero worship.

My dear old friends and hosts: Amanda and Jimmy.

This time around I was invited to share a VIP suite with con guests Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti, both of whom are old colleagues from my days in the comics biz trenches and very dear friends, especially Amanda, whom I grew up with and have watched flourish as one of the best cartoonists around over a three-decade-plus trajectory. We ended up with a lovely room located on the 21st floor and when one looked over the the floor's ledge, the vertigo-inducing effect brought to mind the seemingly endless depths of the Krell machine as seen in the sci-fi classic FORBIDDEN PLANET (1956).

The Krell machine.

The view from the 21st floor of the Hyatt Regency.

Once within the confines of my portion of the suite, I set up my modest "media lab" and set off to pick up my press credentials from the con's media liaison room.

My bitchin' tabletop "media lab."

Once I clipped on my ribboned press badge, I set off to explore the surrounding area and chronicle the sights of the pre-con mishegoss. I encountered my first cosplayer of the show on the way out of the hotel, an enthusiastic Brit who rocked a female variant on the classic Batman costume (but significantly not a representation of either the classic or current Batwoman).

As my travels brought me outside into the considerable Atlanta heat and humidity, I noted the gigantic, completely unsubtle inflatable Jaegermeister bottle at poolside, a monolithic idol to potent alcoholic libations and a portent of the many "con babies" that were likely to be conceived over the next few days of copious drinking and sybaritic costumed fornication.

Advertizing or a fertility idol? You decide!

One of the unavoidable aspects of the show for attendees is the nightmare of picking up their tickets/badges via the pre-registration line, and it became a lengthy ordeal for many.

A con staffer acts as traffic control for the massive pre-registration line.

When I arrived to check out pre-registration and pick up the con's program and schedule book (which were not to be had at the media room due to them not having been delivered yet), I was staggered by the volume of the line which, according to one of the security guards at the entrance inside the hotel, numbered around 1200 people, and that was just those who'd made it inside the building.

The pre-registration line, as seen from inside the building.

Just a small section of the line outside, a throng to rival the exodus scene in THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

This line extended from the Marriott's lower level and literally wound around the building. One con-goer told me she waited on that line for five hours to pick up her badge. Yikes!

Another word of advice to those who may someday attend this con: always know where the nearest liquor store is. It is guaranteed to be cheaper than the bars found in the hotels and you can pick up cheap foam coolers with which to stock your room with your own mini-bar.

The excellence of Sol's, located a mere two blocks and one avenue away from the Hyatt Regency. It was there that I picked up a couple of six-packs and a cooler for under tweny bucks, while two beers and a shot of Quervo at the hotel's bar cost more than that.

Once back at the hotel and fully set up, I hit the revelry in earnest, leaving A.C. and Jimmy to attend the post-wedding barbecue of comics superstar Adam Hughes. As I waited for the elevator down to the lobby — the first of many very looooooong waits over the course of the weekend — I encountered a guy dressed as Charlie Brown in his infamous fucked-up ghost costume from IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN.

He was delighted when I recognized what he was supposed to be, stating that he thought his outfit was an obscure reference. I've got news for ya, bunky: if your outfit is culled from a special that has aired annually on national network television without fail for over four decades, it ain't obscure.

So then I hit the Hyatt's bar.

This hotel bar annually becomes the nexus for all of the local hotels' costumed revelers, and even the waitresses get into the act. In no time, the place becomes crawling with boozed-up geeks and partiers, the majority of whom are in great spirits and ready to share in the overwhelming sense of geek-love and solidarity. All manner of fannish interests were represented; movie, TV and video game characters, anime heroes and vixens, superheroes, robots, fantasy gaming mainstays, monsters, aliens, you name it, and it's a riot to get schnockered with these living representations of the pop culture imagination.

The first couples costume of the weekend.

Undead and stylin' at the bar.

The excellent Miss Kiss.

The first of the weekend's many bunnies, and by far the most charming.

Strawberry Shortcake and her crew.

Unbridled testosterone: the Man with No Name meets Colonel Kilgore.

Who knew a xenomorph would be such a chick-magnet?

The blonde had a cute kinda/sorta European accent and when she giggled "oooh! It's so scary," I was suddenly fifteen again.

The Droogs from A CLOCKWORK ORANGE are a convention mainstay, but this may be a first: the Droogs and their tribal enemy, Billy Boy.

Billy Boy on his own. Well done, sir!

Actual quote: "I'm just a dinosaur! Why does everybody think I'm Reptar?"

My favorite of the con's many Jesuses ("Jesii?"), gaining points for that kickass halo and for not being the Kevin Smithy "Buddy Christ." NOTE: I like Buddy Christ, but it's getting played out as a costume at cons.

I actually took things kind of easy on the first night, enjoying the costumes rather than getting completely faced (like I did last year). The one sad note of the evening was seeing a woman dressed as one of the Droogs from A CLOCKWORK ORANGE from behind and, when I asked if I could take her picture, discovering discovering she was crying her eyes out to a couple of her friends, over what I cannot say. She sweetly asked me to "give her a minute," despite her tears, but I opted to let her alone, hopefully to recover her moxie and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

With that, I retired to the suite, where Amanda had returned from the barbecue and was readying to get some sleep before what would be hours spent signing in Artists Alley the next day. Alas, both of our efforts at slumber were thwarted by the cacophony of all-night partying on all floors of the hotel making its way to the 21st floor in a fashion concentrated and focused by a trick of the hotel's acoustics. The din was unbearable, a melding of con-goers and that uniquely Southern breed of football fans who were there to celebrate the start of college football season, and by the time that things finally died down, the place was filled with all manner of screaming and the sounds of police cars, fire engines and ambulances arriving at the Hyatt and the neighboring hotels literally every five minutes or so. We eventually were able to glean some small amount of shuteye somewhere near 4AM, but this was only the night before the con proper got underway, so the true tumult had yet to begin...

TO BE CONTINUED

Monday, September 06, 2010

COMING SOON! ON THE LOOSE AT DRAGON CON 2010!!!

I just got back from Dragon Con and I am one seriously exhausted sumbitch. I'm only posting to alert you to return on Wednesday for part one of the epic recounting of the adventures in Hotlanta, and I'm not posting sooner because I have over four-hundred photos to weed through and pick out the best to share with you.

Anyway, come back on Wednesday!

Saturday, September 04, 2010

DRAGON CON: SOME EARLY HIGHLIGHTS

I'm exhausted as hell — thanks to running around like a lunatic and enduring last night's incredibly loud sounds of screaming and partying at the hotel — but damned glad to find myself in that state because I'm having so much fun! I hope to have the full photo-safari up sometime next week, but here are some con shots to tide you over until then.

This guy was actually shocked when I recognized his costume, claiming he thought it was an obscure reference. Here's a fact: when something is seen in annual rotation on network TV for over four decades, it ain't obscure.

May the gods bless the mighty jungle girl...

I'm proud to say I've taken what may be the most pimp photo ever of George Perez.

The original savage female archetype: Sheena, Queen of the Jungle.

"I'm Dr. Rockso, and I do cocaaaaaaaaine!"

Julie Newmar-style Catwoman. Meeee-Yow!

What's not to love about this?

Donna Troy: best live action rocking of this character ever!

When MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 fans represent: Mr B. Natural.

Freddy Mercury.

Who knew a Xenomorph would be such a chick-magnet?

The Man with No Name meets Colonel Kilgore.

The lads from A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, with what may be a convention first: their arch-enemy, Billy Boy!

Thursday, September 02, 2010

OFF TO DRAGON CON 2010!!!

Dear Vaulties-

Yer Bunche will be attending Dragon Con 2010 in Atlanta for the next few days and will make sure to chronicle the whole mad experience. I'll be bringing my computer with me and schedule permitting, I plan to post daily highlights, so stay tuned.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

"UNDERWATER SUN" by LUX INTERIOR

Early this morning, an old friend alerted me to Lux Interior, the late frontman of the Cramps , having done a song for SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. Well, here it is, and I find it wistfully appropriate that what will probably be the last (relatively) new song by him should be one in which describes all the usual suspects and goings-on in Bikini Bottom.

Highlight from ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX (1983)



Best helicopter explosion ever! Make sure to note the goofy flying body.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

FROM THE ARCHIVES: SOME FUN STUFF FOR NEWCOMERS

(Illustration by Kevin Kobasic )

Rabid readers of ribaldry, ridiculousness, and rampaging lunacy-

For any of you out there who may be newcomers the the Vault of Buncheness, I bid you a heartfelt "Welcome!" Here's a shortcut to some of my own favorite pieces from the archives; there's a lot here to mull over and there's something for everyone (not all of which is work-safe), so enjoy! And this is only the tip of the iceberg...

-Yer Bunche, keeper of the Vault of Buncheness and champion hen-teaser

TEN INDISPENSIBLE TREASURES FROM THE RECORD VAULT

JAMES BOMB: WHAT IS THE WORST 007 FLICK?

STUPID MOVIES YOU NEED TO SEE

LOVE SONG TO THE MIGHT AND MAJESTY OF THE CHILI DOG

FAY WRAY, KING KONG, AND THE END OF AN ERA

A PERFECT DAY

COSTUME DRAMA: HALLOWEEN AS A SUPERHERO

THESE KIDS TODAY

FULLY LOADED GUMBO EL BUNCHO

FOR THE LOVE OF WARREN: HOW I DISCOVERED REALLY GOOD HORROR COMICS, AND SOME FERVENT RECOMMENDATIONS FOR BEGINNERS

THE SACRED 25: THE SONGS I SIMPLY CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT

50 THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE MOVIES

TARZAN THE APE MAN (1932) and TARZAN AND HIS MATE (1934)

STRAPHANGER’S VENGEANCE: PEOPLE ON THE SUBWAY WHO NEED SEVERE BEATINGS

HALLOWEEN RAMPAGE 2008!

SMOKE ‘EM IF YA GOT ‘EM: CONFESSIONS OF A FORMER FULL-TIME STONER

POPEYE SPEAKS

THE UNBELIEVABLE BUT 100% TRUE STORY OF “SUPERCAT”

TRUE TALES OF FAIRFIELD COUNTY: THE FINE ART OF “LINCOLN LOGGING”

SWEET BIRD OF YOUTH: TRUE TALES OF FIRST PORNOGRAPHY

FEMALE SAVAGES ON THE LOOSE!!!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

SUNDAY'S PORN DAY: SCORE aka THE "TRON-A-SUTRA" (No, seriously)

Things have been rather lean in the newly-released porn department, so I'm saving the best (?) of the run-of-the-mill stuff for next week. This time around, I'm quite pleased to alert you to the existence of SCORE, a beautifully-made Kama Sutra-style instructional guide to various sexual positions as enacted by performers in an environment and gear that evokes the original TRON (1982). Aw, who the fuck am I kidding? This basically is TRON, only it's sex-oriented as opposed to gaming/gladiatorial scenarios and has no narrative. It's strictly a sharing of information.

A pair of programs — the "penetrator program" and the "receptor program" — demonstrate "the Sitting Bull."

The instructional action in SCORE is played utterly straight and takes place on the TRON world's game grid, guiding the user through twenty sexual positions, and though it's done with a straight face, the concept is kind of amusing. (Well, I found it funny...) While the positions in question are accurately demonstrated, the participants never break from the whole TRON aesthetic and no genitalia is on view, which is to say that the imagery of glowing, helmeted characters fucking with their clothes on might not get you into trouble if you watch it anywhere not considered work-safe. There's no nudity but there's also no doubt whatsoever as to what's being represented, so proceed with caution.

So I thought SCORE was fun for what it is and was glad to see the whole porn parody thing taken in a new and very well-crafted direction, even though I doubt you could really rub one out to it. And I don't know about you, but I always found Yori to be a cutie and a half, so I found all of this rather charming. (Which is not to say that the programs depicted are necessarily Tron and Yori.)

Saturday, August 28, 2010

WEIRD SCIENCE (1985)

The spectre of the late John Hughes looms large over American cinema of the 1980's, with the writer/director often cited as "the voice of a generation." Personally, I never bought into that assessment of the guy's work because his films about the teenage condition were really no different than similar fare that came in previous generations, with the sole difference being that Hughes' films were fortunate enough to happen at a time when Hollywood movies could be more honest about youthful sexual longings, insecurities and the distinctly post-1970's suburban partying excess that defined much of the MTV decade (or at least that defined the goings-on when and where I grew up). I'll also grant that Hughes' strong suit was that not one of his protagonists was what would usually pass for the idealized "glamorous" teenager (with the possible exception of Molly Ringwald in THE BREAKFAST CLUB), instead populating several of his stories with dorks and losers of both genders, something that insecure kids could easily identify with. While the majority of Hughes' teen flicks were, I believe, aimed at girls, WEIRD SCIENCE was a straight-up adolescent male fantasy writ large, and as such it's my favorite Hughes movie and one of my favorite films from its era.

In case you somehow missed it, WEIRD SCIENCE follows Wyatt Donnelly (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) and Gary Wallace (Anthony Michael Hall), two nerdy high school losers who are the butt of constant abuse from bullies (including a young and embarrassingly new wave-looking Robert Downey, Jr.), Wyatt's meathead asshole of an older brother, Chet (Bill Paxton, in perhaps his most definitive role this side of Hudson in ALIENS), and can't get the time of day from any living female. When Wyatt's parents leave for the weekend, Gary offhandedly suggests that the pair use Wyatt's computer to simulate the ideal woman, feeding the computer with every bit of data that could facilitate the fantasy. What they did not expect was the program and a half-assed voodoo ritual actually working and coming up with Lisa (former fashion model Kelly LeBrock), a total knockout redhead with amazing, godlike superpowers.

The arrival of Lisa (Kelly LeBrock): the '80's answer to Botticelli's "The Birth of Venus."

Sweet, British-accented, funny, genius-level smart, smokin'-hot and completely willing to acquiesce to her creators' sexual whims, Lisa is a literal genie let out of the bottle, and the rest of the movie chronicles her successful efforts to make confident men out of a pair of pathetic losers who hadn't seen a trace of pussy since they slid out of their mothers'. It's a noble and utterly selfless quest that's fueled by the movie throwing all logic and realism out the window and embracing the sensibility of what is essentially a live-action cartoon, an aspect cited by many viewers as what makes this their least favorite of Hughes' "big three" (the other two being THE BREAKFAST CLUB and the achingly funny SIXTEEN CANDLES).

In my humble opinion, it's that very cartoonishness that makes WEIRD SCIENCE a gem, and some of its elements would be right at home in a comic book or a particularly good issue of MAD. It's also a strong contender for the title of "Best Male Fantasy Movie Ever Made" and some of its qualifying characteristics include the following:
  • Kelly LeBrock's Lisa is not at all what one might expect from a film like this. Sure, she's fine enough to make the corpse of Liberace claw its fetid way from the grave and loudly proclaim a newfound heterosexuality, but though she plainly states that Wyatt and Gary made her and can therefore do with her whatever they chose — meaning exactly what you think it does — she is in no way a mindless sex-puppet. She's smart — positively brilliant, actually — fun, adventurous, and supportive of the boys. In fact, her commitment to seeing them "man up" is quite single-minded, even realizing that her sex-goddess-made-flesh factor intimidates the boys and then adjusting her plan to make them of interest to the rather bland girls they are attracted to (girls who tellingly lack virtually all of the desired elements that they made sure to imbue Lisa with). As previously mentioned, Lisa also possesses superpowers, and they are indeed formidable. In fact, Lisa's ability to bend the fabric of reality to her will with zero effort would have been horrifying in the hands of most other characters, and her creators should be commended for having some of their own goodness manifest in her personality. Instead of a world-destroyer, she's a benevolent and fun-loving Aphrodite for the then-nascent digital age.
  • The lunacy that transpires over the weekend of Wyatt's parents' absence is epic and much of it has become the stuff of fond reminiscence for those of us who saw it when it first came out, but the one sequence that still reduces me to near-incontinence is when Lisa takes the obviously underage boys to a waaaaay ethnic blues bar and encourages them to get their drink on. At first quite uncomfortable and terrified by the place, the boys allow alcohol to work its magic and in no time they find themselves genuinely befriended by a pack of hard, old school Greek, Hispanic and black dudes, all of whom are amazed that they appear to be sexually involved with Lisa (who does nothing to correct their assumption and actually bolsters it). The whole sequence is funny, but it becomes hilarious when the scene skips forward by several rounds and finds Gary completely shitfaced, now sporting a pair of shades and a pimp hat, and channeling an old school black dude's conversational style to incredibly un-PC effect.
Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) inexplicably becomes the blackest man in the known universe.

That sequence fucking kills me and is so over-the-top offensive that it does a complete one-eighty, becoming a satire of its own outrageousness. It's a classic moment and reads just like the twisted John Hughes I first encountered years earlier during his days as a writer for NATIONAL LAMPOON, a Hughes whose incredibly filthy and mean-spirited bent was considerably sanitized for Hollywood deployment.
  • Bill Paxton's turn as Chet is a study in the comedic asshole and he is nothing less than fantastic.
Behold the testosterone-fueled majesty that is Chet (Bill Paxton).

Infinitely worse than the pussified new wave bullies Max (Robert Rusler) and Ian (Robert Downey, Jr.), Chet is a shotgun-toting, jarheaded douchebag of the highest order and he's that rare bad guy that you just love to hate.
  • The aforementioned new wave bullies serve to point out just what a couple of pussies Wyatt and Gary are. Rather than being in any way physically threatening, Max and Ian are more of an annoyance than a physical threat, and even the biggest milquetoast could most likely kick the living shit out of both of them with little effort.
Max (Robert Rusler) and Ian (Robert Downey, Jr.), two bullies who are un-threatening but assholes nonetheless.

But the real point of these limp bullies is to illustrate what Wyatt and Gary would be like if they were themselves assholes. Max and Ian are the dark reflection of our dorky heroes, only a tad more posh and romantically connected to the girls Wyatt and Gary like, girls the bullies would ditch in a heartbeat for a shot at Lisa. Perhaps my only complaint about this film is that Wyatt and Gary did not get in at least one shot to the kisser on these pricks. Chet would kick their asses if they attempted it with him, but these escapees from A Flock of Seagulls? I'd call it a fair slap-fight.

And on top of all that, the boys get to drive fast and fancy cars, throw a kickass house party, rout a gaggle of post-apocalyptic biker mutants — including Michael Berryman, the black punker chick from REPO MAN and Vernon Wells, pretty much reprising his role as Wez from THE ROAD WARRIOR — get the girls of their dreams (dull though they may be) and, last but definitely not least, get to see Lisa naked (which we don't, unfortunately).

Re-examining WEIRD SCIENCE after so long was like a welcome trip back to some of the favorite parts of my very much misspent youth with an old friend I had not seen in a very long time, and I gotta tell ya that it felt quite good. Do yourself the favor and check it out, either for the first time, or for the hundredth.

Friday, August 27, 2010

A MUSICAL EPIPHANY

Rick Wakeman (in wizard drag) and pals, circa 1975.

Grownup awareness and hindsight sure can be a bitch...

A friend recently hooked me up with forty-two episodes from the Mike Nelson years of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000, and as I make my way through them I occasionally encounter one that I missed during the original run. Such an episode is the one where Mike and the Bots took on THE AMAZING TRANSPARENT MAN — a film I cannot believe was made by the same guy who directed THE BLACK CAT (1934) — and during one of the skit segments Mike does an impersonation of former Yes keyboardist Rick Wakeman during his "The Six Wives of Henry VIII" solo period, complete with ludicrous cape and a fright wig to simulate the musician's signature tresses.

MST3K's Mike Nelson channels solo Rick Wakeman.

That bit kicked me in the head as, for the first time in nearly twenty years, my thoughts turned to the Rick Wakeman album "The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table" (1975).

Even the promo ad was overblown and pretentious.

For those who've never heard of it, "The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table" is Wakeman's musical evocation of exactly what its title states, and it's an ambitious bit of heavily-orchestral composition accented by Wakeman's talented keyboard fiddling. Fraught with choral vocals that sound like two-thousand singers were in the studio and minimally-worded retellings of some key aspects of the Arthurian legends — the lyrical scarcity theoretically allowing the music to fill in the narrative and descriptive gaps — the album can be seen by some as an ideal soundtrack to a lengthy D&D campaign (which would not be inappropriate since Dungeons and Dragons first appeared scarcely a year before Wakeman's foray into Camelot, and both efforts simply reek of that early 1970's fantasy vibe). Lancelot, Galahad, Excalibur, the Lady of the Lake, Guinevere, Merlin, and of course Arthur are all present and represented with the kind of legendary aural bombast that would have made Basil Poledouris turn green with envy.

God help me, I used to love that record during my mid-adolescence, appealing as it did to my "romantic" side, but now I look back on it and ask myself what the fuck I was thinking. While there're some admittedly interesting moments to it, "The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table" has got to be one of the most overblown and pretentious pieces musical masturbation ever recorded, very clearly the product of a twenty-five-year-old with delusions of grandeur (plus, it was written during Wakeman's recovery from three minor heart attacks at that young age, so that may factor into it). Particularly embarrassing are the bits where the lush orchestral compositions abruptly derail into teeth-grinding examples of rinky-dink "pee-anny," most notably during the track devoted to Merlin. It's largely the same thing Wakeman was shooting for with the soundtrack to Ken Russell's LISZTOMANIA (1975), only everything worked much better there and had Roger Daltrey along for the ride. But what really pushes this whole exercise over the top is the fact that it was supported by a live show of "King Arthur on Ice" — no, I am not making that up — that not unpredictably lost Wakeman money, leading to inaccurate reports of the composer going bankrupt as a result.


An example from "King Arthur on Ice."

Now that I've listened to the "Arthur" album again for the first time since perhaps 1990 or 1991, I cannot believe that I used to lay there in my room in Westport at the age of sixteen (a good three years before I ever smoked weed), caught up in its dreamy evocation of Malloryesque pageantry and actually buying what Wakeman was selling. As anyone who knew me at the time can attest, I was far from shy about sharing the music I loved with all and sundry (often much to their great annoyance), but "The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table" was never spun for my friends, which leads me to conclude that on some level I knew it was a load of bullshit and realized I would be soundly and deservedly ridiculed for being a fan. I feel like a complete twat and wish I could go back in time and kick myself right up the arse (as FATHER TED creators and writers Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews once so eloquently put it) for ever being such a complete and utter pussy. It's hard to convey what this album's really all about to anyone who has not heard it and I won't even try to give the album a proper review because everything I could possibly say about it has already been made quite clear.

So, what's your equivalent to "The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table" as the once-beloved album that now makes you want to wear a bag over your head out of sheer embarrassment? Please write in and share your shame.