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Saturday, October 17, 2020

PARK SLOPE SATURDAY NIGHT

 I just aurally witnessed an epic ultra-ghetto curse-out.

While enjoying the remainder of my dinner, a car horn began loudly honking on the street outside. this went on for a good half-hour, only stopping occasionally, and it was just as annoying as you would imagine, especially at this hour on a Saturday night when thing would hopefully be quiet. (And it's also a night where the Stoop Louts are absent, so no matter what I apparently cannot have even one night of peace and quiet.)

The honking continued and I debated going outside to ask the person in the car to stop, but another local beat me to it, politely yelling out "Would you please stop honking your horn??" That was met with a bellowed and extremely hostile "TELL THE MUTHAFUKKA TA COME OUT HERE AN' MOVE HIS MUTHAFUKKIN' CAR! AND FUCK YOU!!! FUCK OFF!!!" after which she continued with the honking.

Another half hour of intermittent honking ensued, until the owner of the car that was blocking the honker's exit finally showed up. As the guy put his key into his car's door, the woman who was pinned in got out of her car and let fly with the following: "MUTHAFUKKA, I BIN TRYIN' TA GET MY CAR OUTTA HERE FOR A FUKKIN' HOUR, BUT YOU KEPT ME PINNED!!!" The guy tried to apologize, but she was NOT having it. "FUCK YO' 'SORRY!!!" I GOT THINGS TA DO AN' YOU BEEN KEEPIN' ME HERE!!! FUCK YOU!!! START YO' MUTHAFUKKIN CAR, MUTHAFUKKA!!!"

With that, the woman got back in her car and waited for the guy to pull his car out of the space. I have never in my life heard a car peel out so fast.

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